Die Fat Piggy Die!!
aka "Porno Zen"


"Computers are worthless, they can only give you answers."


It's now been 12 years since I've been on the internet and 20-odd years since the
original DIE FAT PIGGY DIE!! 'zines were produced.
The days has finally arrived that I we are able to present our ideas to anyone
in the world for free with access to the internet. Unfortunately, the problem is
that there's too much background noise and in the case of the last world
emergency, all the grids will shut down. What will we have then?

The printed page.

A year ago, I took it upon myself to take all the DFPD bits found here in
cyberspace and also dig through the numerous clippings and art-
works I had in storage and spent a few months putting the 200-page
DIE FAT PIGGY DIE!! book together. So now when the grid shuts
down I'll still be around (I wrote this book for you, Mad Max! Wher-
ever and whenever you may be!) The book, "The Best of DIE FAT
PIGGY DIE", is now, and hopefully will be for some time, a work in progress.
I contains many personal writings by me, numerous insightful quotes by
great minds throughout history and alot of art and photos. It costs me
a lot to publish so don't be put off by the price tag. I promise you that it's
worth having, especially for the amount of wisdom and philosophy found

Otherwise, while we're still around, it's still VERY exciting that internet and
computer technology now makes all the tools used by the pros accessible
to the amateur musician are FINALLY available. And these tools get better
every year! I'm finally able to make the music, shoot movies and write those
things I've always dreamt of. Thanks to the internet, I can let people check out
my stuff almost instantaneously.

But back to the 'zine writings.. Please note that the DFPD material found here
goes back as far as 25 years. They are pretty stark and represents the mental
exercises of a mind ever growing and learning. I have always been willing
to share my feelings and thoughts with others. When I decidedto transfer the
material to online, what I had was something akin to a "blog", before there
were such things. I didn't write much for a long time. But Johnno, the writer,
is back. And the reason being is that writing blogs for my MySpace pages
gave me the bug again.

I've said that I think it's less likely someone can blackmail youalong the line if you
hang your laundry out where it can be clearly seen by others. And although the
skeletons in my closet don't exactly amount to a mass grave, it takes guts opening up,
especially in the internet realm. That or stupidity. You decide.

Please go to CountZee.com to see the books, videos and other
things I have available there.


Not only were we touted as a paper
fanzine for the best fanzine name
(thanks Billy Spicer!) but we got in
some of the most memorable content
as well! LQQK!

"The more I traveled, the more I realized that fear makes strangers out of people who should be friends."
                                                                               -Shirley Maclaine

Email me: CountZee@aol.com


"..the world's best 'zine name!"
- in a review from a New Zealand magazine

Photo contributed by a friend from Santa Barbara, CA

* "Die Fat Piggy Die!" began around 1989
as a way to "connect" with the 'zine scene
at bay and communicate inner thoughts
with society at large. Bust most importantly to
promote the band I was in at the time. I don't
know how many of those crappy zines there
were all together.
Many thanx go to the people who've actually
purchased my offerings over the years or
traded against them (even better!), to
the various contributors, and most especially
to Mike Gunderloy who gave me a special
gift when he decided, however altruistically,
to review every piece of crap I sent him for
a coupla years.. And then he even sent me
contributorscopies of F5 in exchange! I read
it avidly & made many vital connections
through the pages. There's no way I can pay
him back that I know except to give him this
little plug and wish him a happy life. (Read about
Mike on Wikipedia..) Thanks also to my old
friend Billy Spicer who's assisted me with DFPD
& who I have also to thank for the
'zine name. (Billy, where are you!?)

Thanx also to you for stopping by.
I hope you dig this collection. You're encouraged
to contribute by sending your 'zines to me.
I'll always love those things.

Please note that all items were contributed
by outside sources unless indicated or
if you find a "*".
Happy reading!

                                             "I asked God for strength,
                                                           that I might achieve
                                                       I was made weak,
                                                           that might learn to obey
                                                       I asked for health,
                                                           that I might do great things
                                                       I was given infirmity,
                                                           that I might do better things
                                                       I asked for riches,
                                                           that I might find comfort
                                                       I was given poverty,
                                                           that I might find wisdom
                                                       I asked for power,
                                                           that I might be happy
                                                       I was given weakness,
                                                           that I would feel need for God
                                                      I asked for many things,
                                                           that I might enjoy life
                                I was given little I asked for but everything I had hoped for
                                           Despite myself, my prayers were answered
                                            I among all men am most richly blessed."

              "The most important thing is not to stop questioning!"

Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.
We should know that there is nothing ugly under the sun, save that which comes from
human distortion. Nature's work is all of it good, all of it purposeful, all of it wonderful,
all of it beautiful. We like or dislike certain things which may be a way of expressing our
our prejudice or our limitation, but the work is always perfect of its kind irrespective of
human appreciation. We may prefer the sunlight to the starlight, the evening primrose to
the bisnaga, the antelope to the mountain lion, the mockingbird to the lizard, but to say
that one is good and the other bad, that one is beautiful and the other ugly, is to accuse
nature herself of preferrence--something which she never knew. She designs for the
cactus as skillfully and faithfully as for the lily of the glade. Each in it's way has its
unique beauty of character. And so, more truly perhaps than Shakespeare himself knew,
the toad called ugly and venomous still holds a precious jewel in its head.

          "I abhor the dull routine of existence, I crave for mental exaltation."
                                                 -Sherlock Holmes

           My young men shall never work.
           Men who work cannot dream, &
           wisdom comes to us in dreams.
           You ask me to plough the ground.
           Shall I take a knife and tear my
           mothers breast? Then when I die
           she will not take me to her bosom
           to rest. You ask me to dig for stone.
           Shall I dig under her skin for her
           bones? Then when I die I cannot
           enter her body to be born again.
           You ask me to cut grass and make
           hay and sell it and be rich like white
           men. But how dare I cut off  my
           mothers hair?

                             "Without music life would be a mistake."

Some people say they'd like to go
to bed at night healthy and wake up
dead in the morning. Not me, I'd like
to linger, and linger & suffer, and linger
and suffer & go to the doctors and then
bigger doctors who wont know what's
keeping me alive and then linger and
suffer and linger and then, at the last
minute, I get all better.

"Today, if your not confused, you're not thinking clearly!"

"If there's a more difficult way to do something, someone will find it!"

"Humor is an affirmation of dignity. A declaration of man's
superiority over all that befalls him."
"If I had it to do all over again, I wouldn't have the strength."
-Joe E. Lewis

"The value of anything is what the next days memory shall be."

"A profession is a misfortune. It means limitation & resignation."

"Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events & small minds?
 "Sorrows cannot all be explained away. In a life truly lived, grief & loss
accumulate like possessions." -Stefan Kanfer

  "The Greeks believed in the holiness of beauty. The Jews believed in the
    beauty of holiness."

            "The difference between pornography & erotica is the lighting."
                                              -Gloria Leonard

"There are no dependable lines between normal & abnormal human activities
 and love is a total distortion of human nature. In other words, transference
 is the only ideality people have. It was no news to Freud that the ability to
 love is a matter of susceptibility to illusion..."

 "It occurs to him that it is a great deal of trouble to live and that even
       in the best of lives the thrills are few and far-between. He begins more
       or less consciously to seek satisfaction, because he is no longer satisfied
       and all the while he realizes that the pursuit of happiness was a most
       unhappy quest."  -Walter Lippmann (A Preface to Morals)

        Morrissey: "On all instances when it's left to The Smiths alone, we are unbeatable. I find
        when we have to rely on others we always seem to be behind everyone else. There's
        only so much you can cling to-your credibility, your belief in small cottage industries-
        whatever. You have to be realistic."

       "There is one characteristic of the present direction of public opinion peculiarly calculated
        to make it intolerant of any marked demonstrations of individuality. The general average
        of mankind are not only moderate in intellect, but also moderate in inclinations; they have
        no tastes or wishes strong enough to incline them to do anything unusual, and they con-
        sequently do not understand those who have, and class all such with the wild and intem-
        porate whom they are accustomed to look down upon." -John Stuart Mill (On Liberty)

    "Bodily life as well as psychic life have the impudence to get along much better without
     conventional morality and they often remain the healthier for it." -C.G. Jung

     "To LOOK is one thing, to SEE what you look at is another, to UNDER-
      STAND what you see is a third...to LEARN from what you understand
      is still something else. But to ACT upon what you learn is what really

 The other line moves faster.

  The most powerful of possession is power over ourselves, power to withstand trial, to bear
   suffering to front danger, power over pleasure & pain, power to follow our convictions, how-
   ever restricted by menace and scorn, the power of calm reliance in scenes of darkness and
   storms. He that has no mastery over his own inclinations and is in danger of never being
   good for anything. -John Locke

                       "Everyone who works with love and intelligence finds in the
                                   very sincerity of his love for nature and art a kind
                                     of armor against the opinions of other people."
                                                             -George Grider

 I really wish it was the 1800's where you could do anything
without all the stupid legal hassles. Not to mention getting sued.
It's all so complicated in these modern times.
 Sure we have all these modern conveniences. I like them as much
as the next guy. But is it really worth it? I think not in the long run.
All this extra technology and consumerism is spoiling us Americans.
Hell, I'm spoiled too. I know I'm rambling
but I've got so much to say I can't help it. OK I'll stop ranting and raving.
At least until...

 "The matter, form, effect & goal of my riches are worthless.
That's why our Lord God
generally gives riches to crude asses to whom he doesn't
give much anything else."
 -Martin Luther (Table Talk)


   You can lead a sparkling, fun filled social life by learning how to flirt safely.
Kathleen Gray, who teaches a course called "How to Flirt" at the Network for
Learning, says flirting is a great way to meet people & make yourself feel
marvelous at the same time.
The object of flirting is to woo someone into being responsive & friendly.
It has absolutely nothing to do with picking up strangers for sexual purposes.
There is also diplomatic flirting such as with your boss, the auto mechanic or a business contact.
Flirting can be a safe form of recreation for married people to fascinate and charm strangers.
The joy of flirting is that there is no set procedure, although there are certain
ground rules to ensure that the flirting is effective & safe.
Here are tried & true tips to help make you a devastating charmer:
-Feel good about yourself. A negative attitude can put off prospective "flirtoons."
-Dress attractively to boost your self confidence. Whether you prefer high heals & a
cocktail dress or jogging shoes & a sweat suit, your idea flirting outfit is whatever you feel best in.
Anywhere except a singles bar is suitable for harmless flirting - the park, the
supermarket, the launderette.. even on an airplane!
-Maintain eye contact with a potential flirtee a second or two longer than normal.
Any longer will make it seem as though you are ogling or leering.
-Use an opening line that is not to gimmicky or witty. The really snappy one-liners
often close the door to sensible reply. The remark should be open-ended so it can be
answered with a nod, one word or a lengthy conversation.
-Be flexible enough to adapt to the personality of the flirtee. If he is shy, try to be
somewhat outgoing. And if he is gregarious, be a little quieter.
-Don't come on in a sexual way. Sexy is fine, but sexual is a no-no. Avoid making
suggestive comments and deflect any aimed your way.
-Remain mysterious. Don't volunteer every snippet of information about yourself,
stay a little distant, yet full of promise.
   Decide that flirting is a positive activity that will help you to meet people..
   Be yourself & emphasize all your good points.
   Respond to a person who's interested in you by nodding or smiling.
   Keep the conversation light & lively by bringing up topics like a person's job.
hobbies or sports find interesting.
   Project a light & upbeat attitude.
   Encourage the other person to talk about whatever interests him.
   Look graceful & relaxed.
   Accept any compliments you get.
   Keep an open mind about the type of person you want to meet.
   Think of flirting as something a nice person doesn't do - Get rid of all your negative
feelings about it.
   Be a phony, projecting an image that's not the real you - Most people will recognize
a put-on like that immediately.
   Panic when the other person responds to your flirting. Instead try asking, "Do you
see something you like?"
   Get into heavy controversial, topic like politics.
   Act unhappy by dredging up past romances that failed or your personal problems.
   Just talk about yourself.

      "The secret rules of poetry and aesthetics, which we now believe to be beyond rational expression,
      can be demonstrated in numbers, ratio & angles of the confluent lines of terrestrial geometry. The
      key numbers are those which occur prominently in several different spheres and which express
      the element of unity or correspondence in phenomena apparently disparate in their nature & scale.
      The philosophers of the ancient world discovered that the peculiar qualities of these numbers could
      be discerned through measurements of the visible universe. Astronomers found these in the cosmic
      ratios, in the relative sizes of the heavenly bodies and in the intervals that separated them. Math-
      ematics proved their relevance to the figures of relevant geometry and discovered the magic squares
      and numerological patterns by which their geometrical relationships were further revealed. Musicians
      and artists observed that these same numbers and ratios were those that produced the most perfect
      harmonies and touched the deepest sources of human emotion. They contained the secrets of magic."

      "It's very simple. Dogs and cats and other talented animals have tails which provide them with
       a wonderfully complete language of arabesques, not only for what they think and feel and suffer
       but for every mood and vibration of their being. For every infinitesimal variation in their feeling
       tone. We have no tails, and since the more lively among us need some such form of expression,
       we make ourselves paintbrushes and pianos and violins..."

                                     When selecting a name for your band:
                   1.) Looks good in print                  2.) Easily memorized
                   3.) Appeals to people                    4.) It matches your sound
                                                 5.) Staying power

     You are always trying to express the sun
    according to its position by house & sign.
    All development is found in the sun and
    the fundamental character of your personal
    radiations all around you. It symbolizes
    strength, vigor, ardor, generosity & the
    ability to function effectively as a mature
    individual and a creative force in society
    It is consciousness of the gift of life. The
    underdeveloped solar nature is arrogant,
    pushy, undependable and proud and is
    constantly using force.

                        *The following article was taken from
                                 a well known science periodical and
                                 brought up the tail end of the first issue.
                                 It asks inflammatory yet realistic questions
                                 regarding the worth of mankind weighed
                                 against the importance of the well-being
                                 of our planet. A friend once confided in
                                 me that he felt the earth was perfect in
                                 and of it's own and has for millions if not
                                 billions of years in perfect natural order
                                 and in such a short time that man has
                                 endeavored to accelerate his prominence
                                 upon this sphere has done much more
                                detriment than good to his only home.
                                 Man is a deadly, cancerous virus which
                                 is spreading all too rapidly upon this
                                 once thriving organism, planet Earth.

 "As the author of a controversial new book that proposes robots replace the
human species,   Moravec should be able to start arguments almost at will.
Tonight at dinner, however, he's
finding no takers.
       With an impishness that belies his 40 years, Moravec is only managing to drive his wife, the
theology student, to distraction. "Now," he proposes with a sly smile, "literal Christianity would
not allow this, but let's say that God has been using computers all along to design humans."
       Ella Moravec, a graduate student at local seminary, rolls her eyes at the notion. The gesture
just goads her husband. "I'm completely unconvinced by how traditional religions explain the
future of human beings...meanwhile, out culture has outstripped our biological ability to cope
with it. So if you explain the human condition in terms of continual progress, it's easy to see
humans evolving into robots."
        A guest at the table asks, "Is Moravec saying that robotic technology, when meld with
the human mind, spirit or soul will give us first crack at ultimate longevity?" Moravec responds,
That's not so important a question...Oh, we might want to 'download' our human characteristics
into robots, but I look for that as a bone we'd throw ourselves. The key thing for us to do would
be to step aside and 'let the robots take over completely!'"
        Moravec goes onto describe two computers in a Carnegie-Mellon research lab. Both are
such experts at chess that they're ranked among the world's best players. Ella looks at her
husband with half-apologetic fondness, "What can I say...he's incorrigible."
        Incorrigible he may be but if you enter the research labs of the world you'll find that he's
no kook on a limb. Although it could be argued that few of today's robots show any signs of
promise Moravec suggests--most of the one's in the US are employed in factories in such
mechanical jobs as spot welding or spray-painting--there are signs later generations will fulfill
his vision. For example, a robot designed by students at Tokyo's Waseda University can ex-
ecute Bach pieces at the keyboard with the virtuosity of a skilled classical pianist. A robotic
hand jointly conceived by researchers at MIT and at the University of Utah can pick up an egg,
break it, separate the yoke from the white, then use it's index finger to whip the latter into a
froth. Both cases represent light-years of advancement over robots developed as recently
as five years ago.
        When it comes to his belief in science, Moravec is truly unyielding. Born in Austria after
WWII he grew up in Canada. As a child he played with small switches and motors, gifts from
his electrical engineer father, and avidly read science fiction books and Boolean algebra.
        When he was ten, Moravec built a robot. A tiny mechanical man put together with tin cans
and spare parts from old toys. This set him on a path he has never left. By 1971, at age 23
he was studying for his Ph.D. in computer science at Stanford University and immersing him-
self in the world of computers and robotics.
        After nearly 20 years of professional toil, Moravec can now marshal plenty of evidence
for his arguably fantastic thinking. Most of his thinking is laid out in his recent Mind Children:
The Future of Robot & Human Intelligence. (Harvard University Press) This book is causing
quite a stir outside & inside the scientific community.
         "If robotics and computer technology continue to develop at present rates--a prospect
Moravec finds no reason to question--he predicts that robots will pass the threshold of human
like abilities within 50 years or so, at which point they will no longer need us." Summed up M.
Mitchell Waldrop in The New York Times Book Review earlier this year. "While many readers
doubtless find this prospect terrifying, Mr. Moravec glories in it. The robots he envisions in
Mind Children will be nothing at all like the rigid, emotionless automatons we've come to
expect from bad science-fiction movies. They will be our companions, our help-mates and our
         How does Moravec support his vision of this new race of robotic beings? He focuses
first on ongoing advances in technology, then views "robots" as their logical fruit. For example,
in Mind Children, he considers how a robot could be made to see and hear: high resolution
TV cameras for viewing the outside world, small earphones and microphones to detect its
natural surroundings and a computer to drive the entire apparatus. "It doesn't take an expert
to recognize that [robot vision & hearing would mean] a demanding set of requirments...yet
every one of [the necessary technologies exists and is the subject of extensive, well funded
         "At the same time other technologies now afoot could make up the distinctive, if not quite
human 'heart & soul' of a robot being. Within 50 years it's going to be possible to manipulate
atomic matter on a very microscopic scale. This will enable us to produce very delicate, yet
intricate 'parts' for a robot that'll allow it to have astoundingly complex precise function."
         In addition, Moravec points out, the evolution of computers has been advancing a
thousand fold every every 20 years. Throw in parallel developments in superconductivity
research, laser experimentation, tactile sensors, even artificial skin--and human robots will
naturally arise from the caldron of scientific activity.
         For humans interested in longevity, Moravec's thinking raises large questions. It's one
thing for some, for technology to produce the life-expanding body parts, vaccines, techniques &
even completely new organ systems. They add to but do not alter the uniquely human quotient.
         But if such applications become so wide-spread that "new" humans--called robots--are the
result, will something crucial have been lost? Is the idea of robot replicants no less devastating
to man than nuclear devastation?
         Again, Moravec doesn't think so. "Look at the evolutionary pattern among animals. It not
only 'survival of the fittest' that holds true. That view just suggests strength and growth with no
direction. Instead, every so often the top niches on the scale get overcrowded. So there's
elimination even at that level. When you consider that when a computer with a trillion chips
of memory could even out-think me, you can see how robots could logically eliminate the need
for humans."
         Yet just when this type of reasoning makes Moravec seem antihuman, he exposes a side
that that actually might qualify him as a super-humanist. "As our culture becomes less viable
for us to inhabit under the onslaught of pollution, disease and famine, do we cling to our status
as humans at all costs, or do we take the high road and evolve into something better? And if
we're not around to see that 'something better,' because we've passed the torch to robots, how
are we any different from any generation of humans who doesn't live to see the next?"
         If you talk to some of Moravecs peers, you'll find influential support for his thinking. "It's
important that people are reminded," remarks Marvin Minsky, Donner professor of science
at MIT and perhaps this county's leading authority on artificial intelligence, "that today's
human's are not the finality but a step in evolution. It's only because we're watching ourselves
that we seem more final than we actually are." Minsky says it's entirely plausible to him that
robotics could advance to the level that Moravec prospects.
         However, other experts in robotics aren't so sure. Charles Lecht, chairman of his own
Tokyo based robotics firm says, "As I'm talking to you there's a [robot] paving machine outside
that can pave a street alot better than a man can. If man can only be defined by things like
that. There's too much evidence for a non material side of man for him to relinquish his existence
to robots. When it comes to human beings, there's something else there--something that
nothing else could be."
         Moravec, of course, thinks differently. "In the long run, our survival will require changes
that are not of our own choosing. Parts of us will have to be discarded and replaced. Yet this
evolutionary process, seen in a more positive light, means that we are already immortal, as we
have been since the dawn of life. Our genes and culture pass continuously from one genera-
tion to the next. We value change and growth, and our artificial descendants will share this gift
with us--their survival, like ours, will depend on it."
          Stay tuned!                                                                                        -Michael Rozek

 *The first month of 1992 took Billy away to basic
training in Oklahoma.
He left me the marvelous cover for DFPD issue #3. It was
pretty weird and very sad to realize that our great friendship had
come to a place where we would no longer have the convenient
opportunities to visit like we always had. I wished him
luck in his endeavors & made it known I'd make it a point to see
him soon. Somehow we found ourselves on different paths.
But such is life.

May you, too,
find success in all your endeavors.


 Things to Believe
 1)   You are taking yourself too seriously
 2)   Everything is going to be okay
3)   The whole world is conspiring to make you happy
4)    All of your dreams are coming true
5)    Nothing is impossible
6)    If you relax you'll float upstream
7)    You can trust your friends
8)    You don't have to worry about anything
9)    You are always in the right place at the right time
10)    There is nothing to fear

                                    3 Simple Ways to Save the Environment

                     1) Keep tires inflated properly and get a frequent tune-up to ensure efficient
                             fuel consumption.
                         2) Raise the blades on your lawnmower. An extra inch of grass on everyone's
                              lawns could do alot for the greenhouse effect.
                         3) Use washable towels instead of disposable paper supplies.

"My vision has something to do with the entire cyclical life process of birth, growth,
decay and death & the possibility that life recycles again and again...It's a fascination
with that change, and its a kind of horror that I think all of us have deep down inside
--of death & change and yet the beauty of change, and the fact that there can be no
growth without change."


*The following received by Jon sin from Andrew Roller:
 "Thanx Jason, Now instead of running for president I can run for
city garbage collector (and LOSE!) You forgot to credit my con-
tributions too. Like my laserprinted letter. (I guess the royalty
payments will be a little LATE!) Send some more copies and I'll
send 'em to my reviewer. Nice work (BUY SOME STAPLES!!)"


"That's why we're not really exercising that much hard sell with this religion as
compared with, say, the Pentecostals, or the Baptists, Because they don't care.
They're all going to die, and we're going to be in infinite slack, reveling in our
comic books, our porno movies and our horror films, in which we find true wisdom.
So at least this way we have an enemy and you can't have a religion without an
enemy, I mean, that's what most religions are about--giving a person a sense of
superiority over some imagined enemy."

                "Socially, life was a drag for most of high school and around then. By drag, I
                 mean, hanging onto the bumper of a car and going over at least 800 feet of
                 asphalt. I had no friends until the last year, and with them I was still pretty
                 much alone most of the time.
                 Anyway, we did things, not the same functions other teenagers participated
                 in, like dances, football games and "parties." Our stuff was more along the
                 lines of driving around with zombie masks on, screaming at people."

             "For the magus the only cosmos is that which exists in the mind.
             While the scientist, despite evidence at sophisticated levels of
             mathematics and physical certainties and that the universe is
             really more a principle than a place, hold to his position that out
             there somewhere, a uniformly palpable cosmos stands, the magus
             is in the rather lonely position of knowing that he is traveling
             down a road and at the same time creating that road with every
             step he takes. His is a search for what is permanent amidst change.
             Unlike his academic contemporary who catalogs, the combines
             the endlessly shifting arabesques of atomic stuff, the magus questions
             what it is that lies beyond all the flux and transformation of the
             natural world. Reality for the magician, that illusive incredibility,
             which he searches, is hidden from him by the very supernal Intel-
             legence which, when traced to ot's genesis, casts off all masks and
             reveals Itself as the Self within. Man turns out to be God simply
             playing the fool!"

                 "Many people expect this of the Smiths. Because of the nature of their following, they are still categorized as an
                  'alternative' outfit. They are pictured next to The Cocteau Twins and Cabaret Voltaire."
                   -excerpt from a Smith's biography book.

                 "Of all the thirty-six alternatives, running away is best"  Chinese proverb

                 "It is impossible to persuade a man who does not disagree, but smiles."  -Muriel Spark

"This is what everyone is telling us." Comes
the bemused reply. "And we just can't
believe it. We have striven
over the years for such a high level of
incompetancy, and now despite us going so far as to amputate our fingers
we have produced a music album. We started
recording it and it sounded good so we
chopped our fingers off and
it started sounding even better! Once we
reduced our hands to mere stumps the playing
became even more proficient.
We also stopped smoking crack in the studio
and the music ended up sounding GREAT! The
guy from MTV said pulled
up with a truckload of money! I would be
horrified, shocked and appalled ifour fans
were anything but rabid,
mutant, bloodstained idiots!" -ODERUS URUNGUS of GWAR

"Putting up with America is difficult. You just sort of switch off and go autopilot.
Try not to watch any of their television. Don't listen to any radio,
don't read any of their tabloids. Just stay on the bus.."
-An Australian musician gearing up for his tour of the USA

                                    The Covert Curriculum

                                            As work shifted out of the fields and out of the home, moreover, children had to be
                                 prepared for factory life. The early mine, mill & factory owners of industrializing England
                                 discovered, as Andrew Ure wrote in 1835, that it was "nearly impossible to convert
                                 persons past the age of puberty, whether drawn from rural or handicraft occupations into
                                 useful factory hands." If young people could be pre-fitted to suit the industrial system
                                 it would vastly ease the problems of industrial discipline later on. The result was another
                                 central structure of all Second-Wave societies-- mass education.

                                 Built on the factory model, mass education taught basic reading, writing & arithmetic, basic
                                 history & other subjects. This was the "overt curriculum." But beneath it lay an invisible or
                                 "covert curriculum" that was far more basic. It consisted of (and still does is most industrial-
                                 ized nations) of three courses: one in punctuality, one in obedience & one in rote, repetitive
                                 work. Factory labor demanded workers who showed up on time, especially assembly-line
                                 hands. It demanded that workers take orders from management hierarchy without questioning.
                                 And it demanded men & women be prepared to slave away at machines or in offices, performing
                                 brutally repetitious operations.

                                 Thus from the mid-nineteenth century on, as the 2nd Wave cut across country after country,
                                 one found a relentless educational progression: children started school at younger and younger
                                 ages, the school year became longer & longer (in America it climbed 38 percent between 1878
                                 and 1956) and the number of years of compulsory schooling irresistibly increased.

                                 Mass public education was clearly a humanizing step forward. As a group of mechanics &
                                 and workingmen declared in 1829, "Next to Life & Liberty, we consider education the greatest
                                 blessing bestowed upon mankind." Nevertheless, Second Wave schools machined generation
                                 after generation of young people into a pliable, regimented work force of the type required
                                 by electromechanical technology and the assembly line.

                                 Taken together, the nuclear family and the factory-styled school formed part of a single
                                 integrated system for the preparation of young people for roles in industrial society. In this
                                 respect, too, Second Wave societies, capitalist or communist, North or South, were all alike...

                    Sweet Nothings

                             Here are some reasons E.T. has not yet
                                                     phoned Earth

                                       When Italian physicist Enrico Fermi sat lunching with physicist Ed-
                                                  ward Teller in 1950, Fermi ignited a debate that rages to this day.
                                                  He asked simply, "if there are extraterrestrial civilizations, where are
                                                  they?" In other words, "If they exist, why aren't they obvious?"
                                                  Why don't astronomers sees alien Coca-Cola signs flashing in the
                                                  night sky?
                                                  Radio astronomer Frank Drake made a valiant effort to answer this
                                                  question by creating an equation to estimate the probability of life
                                                  arising in our galaxy. He broke it down into a series of steps. What
                                                  are the numbers of planets around a star? What are the odds that life
                                                  will sprout on one of those planets? What is the likelihood that intel-
                                                  legent life will arise? When we optimists plug our estimates into the
                                                  Drake equation, we get numbers ranging from thousands to millions
                                                  of technological civilizations that could exist in the Milky Way.
                                                  When pessimists input their numbers they get approximately zero.
                                                  Ultimately it rests on the shoulders of the optimists to to explain why
                                                  we haven't yet discovered proof of life on other worlds.

                                                  To me, a Caltech engineering lecturer and coordinator of the Planetary
                                                  Societies Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence (SETI) program, the
                                                  appealing explanation for the apparent absence of E.T.s is the quarentine
                                                  hypothesis. Fans of the old Star Trek series know how the crew of the
                                                  starship Enterprise always attempted to uphold "The Prime Directive,"
                                                  that is, they steadfastly avoided contact with primitive civilizations in order
                                                  to avoid contaminating the cultures. In the same spirit is entirely
                                                  possible that other civilizations want to avoid interfering with the emergence
                                                  of primitives such as us.

                                                  Imagine we belong to an advanced civilization that's been around for billions
                                                  of years. We're a jaded group of near-immortal aliens. We have lived one
                                                  million years and have sampled the pleasures of 1000 worlds. Our most
                                                  refreshing experience might well be savoring the peculiarities of a brand-new
                                                  world thats uncontaminated by galactic culture. Perhaps the most precious
                                                  commodity in the universe is a civilization that does not yet trade information
                                                  with other worlds. To an interstellar conservationist the greatest evil might be
                                                  letting barbaric Earthlings know about the existance of an advanced galactic
                                                  civilization. To do so would spoil Earth. Once Earthlings become aware of an
                                                  alien presence, civilization would change. Just as Papua New Guineans polluted
                                                  by the out-side world now listen to rock-music, watch TV & read The New Yorker.

                                                   Another possiblility why aliens haven't contacted us is that their civilizations
                                                   may have developed a method of inducing permanent ecstacy for their civilizations
                                                   through drugs or other means including computer-generated artificial realities.
                                                   With automatic life-support systems, people could live happily ever after, bliss-
                                                   fully unconcerened about the rest of the universe. It could be there are whole
                                                   worlds of slumbering little green men and women spending their lives in cosmic
                                                   rapture. Maybe no-one is particularly interested in signaling us. Suppose you could
                                                   live in resplendent ecstacy for the rest of your life. Would you be interested in
                                                   venturing off to other worlds?

                                                   It's also possible that aliens have no more interest in us as the average human
                                                   has in ants. After a few-million years of evolution accelerated by their genetic
                                                   engineers, they may have an intellegence as superior to ours as ours is to ants'.
                                                   What would they learn by contacting us? That's not to say they haven't left some
                                                   suitable evidence for us to discover. Perhaps we, with our teeny ant brains, might
                                                   still be able to detect the crumbs the aliens have left behind.

                                                   S.E.T.I. has reported a Pandora's box of questions, but at least it offers the
                                                   possibility of answers. Throughout history, every time we've turned a new type of
                                                   telescope on the sky, we've always foud surprises. So let's continue with the
                                                   search. At worst we'll discover wonderful celestial bodies never before seen by
                                                   human beings. At best we may find civilizations dazzling beyond our wildest
                                                   dreams.                                                                      -Thomas R. McDonough


  more wisdom from the quote book: "Of course I am telling the truth, but I must word it very
   carefully so that you might misunderstand it more easily." "Conflicts between men are compete-
   itive, but conflicts between women are vicious." "Life should be a challenge, not a struggle."
   "Pregnancy is the worst kind of venereal disease." "Is it really so bad to forfeit if you know the
   game's been rigged?" "I remember my friends because I want to but I remember my enemies
   because I have to." "Everyone else is just a statistic." "AGE STATEMENT: I'm old enough to
   think for myself!"


          "Very Metal"
          I am not a punk.
          I am sick of simple music.
          I'm very metal!

          I hate the punk scene.
          Maximum R&R Sucks.
          Because it is dumb.


            I'm alone in a world of scabs
            I'm unlike all of those drips
            They get to eat shrimp & crabs
            I get to eat chips & dip

            They have half the world's cash
            And they do nothing for it
            I have about a buck & a half
            So I can't afford it

            But in the end I'll have to laugh
            As I pull my knife from my pocket
            And I slice the buggers in half
            I'll pick each of their fat wallets

             Samisen circa '84

             Common NIETZSCHEN principles:
             "The best way to destroy youth is to make them place conformists in higher regard than the non."
             "Life without music would be a mistake."
             "Evil men have no songs."
             "That which does not destroy you makes you stronger."
             "There should be limits to one's knowledge for even wisdom inherently draws limits to intellectual
             "When a worm is stepped on it doubles up. This is clever because in doing so the chance of
              further damage is reduced.  The language of morality--humility."
             "He who laughs last laughs best."
             "The 'party-man' learns no longer. He only experiences and judges. The non-'party-man' encom-
             passes health & inexhaustibility. He grows old & continues to learn."
             "There is no evil in the universe, only weakness."

       More wisdom from the quote book:

     "Too much freedom is when there are no circumstances to ones actions."

      "Pessimism is merely optimism distilled with a little objectivism."

      "I am a very rich person. Unfortunately my wealth is, for the most part intangible, which makes it
      very difficult to flaunt."

      "Offense is on the mind of the defensive."

     "The truth is not always ethical."

     "Be whatever you wish you were."

     "Law & Justice are not always one in the same."

     "No one can live without changing the world."

     "Sometimes in order to achieve progress we need to slow our pace."
     (all from Anthony Marzola)

 More wisdom from the quote book (well actually from Jon & friends):

   "Abstinence from something (sex) promotes it."

    "Those who learn the past control the future."

    "A mate is a true reflection of part of yourself."

    "Intelligence reeks of dumbfoundedness."

    "No one is better than you lest you let it be so."

    "Strive for perfection, as you may never reach it, what you attain in the process will be magnificent."

    "Never try to impress someone with something you dislike."

    "If there is at least some joy in your life build upon it with your suffering."

Even more wisdom from the world of zinedom:

"A corrupt man will readily shake you hand."  "Hate is man-made."  "Sweetest tounge-sharpest tooth."
"Caffeine is the poor mans way of getting a rush."  "New-Age is a disguise for aging hippies."
"I came to understand the benefit of playing the fool when I realized how aptly suited I was to the part." -G. Baumslag
"Rules & models destroy genius & art." -William Hazlit from Sketches and Essays "On Taste"
"Don't try love. Don't risk the addiction."  "It's not what you achieve in life but what you overcome."
"A psychologist is the one who watches everyone else when a beautiful woman enters the room."
"Gain knowledge by experiment not by dictation."  "Pride commeth before a fall."
"Then I understood that all that was profound in the universe was that which was the unknown lurking within my
own mind."  "Love is pity & compassion. Lust is worship & greed."  "Don't listen to the weatherman. Go outside."
"Censorship exists not for subject matter but for conveyance of that subject matter."  "Empty barrels make the most
racket!"  "Relativity does not exist in the scope of which it is surmised."  "Whoso would be a man would be a non-
conformist." -R.W. Emersen. Essays on Self Reliance.  "Dreams are the true interpretation of our inclinations, but
art is required to sort and understand them." -Montaigne. Essays Book 3, Chp.13
"Never give liberty to a nation devoid of good-humor."  "You must have a license to own a dog or a car yet any
scumbag can be a parent!"  "That which is unlikely (or likely) to occur yet does occur (doesn't) is fate!" -Count Zee
"A man's best teacher is himself."  "Only a fool could be unhappy in wealth."  "The human form is the greatest
physical work to grace God's canvas. It should be looked upon with artistic marvel & scientific awe. The idea that
the human body or its functions are shameful has constituted aesthetic deprivation beyond comprehension." -Count Zee

For a comprehensive list of book titles falling under the
category of obscure, subversive & alternative send $5 to:
Loompanics Unlimited POB 1197, Port Townsend, WA  98368


Tales of John-boy!
After telling Billy Rotten about his intention to become a foreign embassy guard--
1.) Billy turns on radio
2.) Excited newsreporter rants out about how Iraq has seized the America Embassy
Billy then remarks how that "If that isn't an omen, I don't know what is!"
And they both laugh their asses off.

Tales of John-boy!
One day, while hard at work in the main post exchange John-boy runs into a longtime pal who apparently is deciding
not to pay processing fees on his returned photos--
1.) John-boy remarks how he is familiar with the surveillance equipment.
2.) "Friend" assures that if turned into the store security that he will kick John-boy's left nut so hard it will explode
John-boy quickly find other uses for valuable time.

Tales of John-boy!
John-boy asks Billy Rotten if he has recieved the subsequent issue of "American Rationalist." Billy says he's
already passed it along to a kid who's best described as a Christian-Prep--
1.) Billy presents "American Rationalist" to C.P.
2.) Christian-prep claims that he has more than enough problems already.
John-boy and Billy laugh their asses off.

 Mr. X: I don't understand this business about death. If we're just going to die, what's the point of living?

 Mr. Z: Well, there's seafood!

 Mr. X: I don't know why I even bother to talk to you before dinner!

 (Warning: this article is HORRID!)
Scrotum Self-Repair
by William A Morton Jr. MD
One morning I was called to the emergency
room by the head ER nurse. She directed me
to a patient who refused to describe his problem
other than to say that he "needed a doctor to took
care of men's troubles." The patient, about 40,
was pale, febrile, and obviously uncomfortable.
He had little to say as he opened his trousers to
expose a bit of angry red and black&blue scrotal
After I had asked the nurse to leave us, the patient
permitted me to remove his trousers, shorts, and
two or three yards of foul-smelling stained gauze
wrapped about his scrotum, which was swollen
to twice the size of a grape-fruit & extremely tender.
A jagged zig-zag laceration, oozing pus & blood
extended down the scrotum.
Amid the matted hair, edematous skin, and various
exudates, I saw some half-buried dark linear objects
and asked the patient what they were. Several days
earlier, he replied, he had injured himself in the machine
shop where he worked, and had closed the laceration
himself with a heavy-duty stapling gun. The dark objects
were one-inch staples of the kind used for putting up
We X-rayed the patients scrotum to locate the staples;
admitted him to the hospital & gave him tetanus antitoxin,
broad-spectrum anti-bacterial therapy and hexachlorophene
sitz baths prior to surgery the next morning. The procedure
consisted of exploration and debridement of the left side
of the scrotal pouch. Eight rusty staples were retrieved and
the skins edges were trimmed & freshened. The left testes
had been avulsed and was missing. The stump of the sperm-
atic cord was recovered at the inguinial canal, debrided & the
 vessels ligated properly, although not much of a hematoma was
present. Through & through Pennrose drains were sutured loosely
in site and the skin loosely closed.
Convalescence was uneventful and before his release from
the hospital less than a week later, the patient confided the
rest of his story to me. An unmarried loner, he usually didn't
leave the machine shop at lunchtime with his co-workers.
Finding himself alone, he had begun the regular practice of
masturbating by holding his penis against the canvas drive-
belt of a large floor-based piece of running machinery. One day
as he approached orgasm he lost his concentration and leaned
in too close to the belt. When the scrotum became caught between
the pulley wheel and drive-belt, he was thrown into the air and
landed a few feet away. Unaware that he had lost his left testis
and perhaps too stunned to to feel much pain he stapled the wound
 closed and resumed work. I can only assume he's since abandoned
this method of self-gratification.

                  Society Creates Bad Apples
                                by Sambone

      People are born good, society makes them bad. First of all,
most unfortunately, some people are born into very oppressive
environments. Parents usually make a set of negative imprints on
a child's demeanor, especially if the parents have bad attitudes of
their own. In families with a traditional aspect involved in crime,
the children are almost always conditioned to be criminals them-
         Secondly, as people obtain a standing place in society
they are subjected to drastically corrupted sources. Our capitalist
society enforces the technique of keeping the rich fat and making
the poor starve, driving our lower class to aquire deviant and officious
means of support. Also, Society tries to base itself on its media
misrepresentation-- television, in which the good guys and bad
guys are clearly defined with no grey areas in between.
         Lastly, everyone is affected by the government. It belittles
man to the level of statistic, tax-payer & rifle holder in the prospect
of war. If the citizen "causes trouble" for them then it's off to the
hate camps (prisons) to turn them into bitter, angry, repulsive
creatures only to later turn them back out onto the streets.
         Babies are born innocent, but for these reasons, bad apples
turn up in our society.

        "Me" by Stikz

I am a zombie walking through life
holding a single black rose
each pedal represents a year
the color-- for each year gone sour
you are born just to die
a sad truth of life
I beg for the day to come quickly
the taste of my last breath
shall be savored forever
through eternity
my heart, the rose...

Does music really belong to anyone? It a part
of you (or anyone!) and once
you release it from you soul it's a free spirit,
but it carries your influence and you carry it.
(part of a letter I received from a friend named Dan Rendulic)

What you think it means: Chemical bombardment of Vietnamese jungle
What if really means: Hours-long process to sandblast off gritty outer
layers of facial skin before bedtime

 The Eleven "LaVeyan" Rules of the Earth!

1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.
 2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you're sure
that they want to hear them.
3. When in another's lair, show him/her respect or else do
not go there.
4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly &
without mercy.
5. Do not make sexual advances unless given the mating
6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless
it is a burden to the other person & he cries out for
7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have used it
successfully to attain your desires. If you deny the
power of magic of magic after having called upon it
with success, you will lose all you have gained.
8. Do not complain about anything to which you need
not subject yourself.
9. Do not harm children!
10. Do not kill non-human animals unless attacked or for
your food.
11. When walking in open territory, bother no one.  If
someone bothers you ask him to stop. If he does not
stop, destroy him.

-Anton Szandor LaVey 1967 c.e.

"A man who doesn't love easily, loves too much."
-Dale Cooper



                        MOM BURNS BIG BUCKS

      Maria Nascimento of Brasfilia, Brazil, was the holder of a
      winning lottery ticket worth $60,000. Maria, an unemployed
      maid and mother o seven children, took the ticket to her
      local minister at the Assembly of God church. He told her that
      the winning ticket was the work of the devil, and she needed
      to rid herself of it. She returned home and set fire to the ticket
      along with her identification card and the birth certificates of
      her children. Her unemployed husband came home, discovered
      what she'd done, beat her, and vanished. We volunteer to take
      on Satan & his minions anytime. Send us all lottery tickets
      you have. -ed.

                      NASA TO MOON: DROP DEAD!

     Professor Alexander Abian of Iowa State University has
       revealed that NASA plans to blow up the moon with three
       rockets tipped with hydrogen bombs. Why? Well, because
       it's there, for starters, and they have the technology. But
       also because NASA wants to tilt the earth in another way,
       in order to improve the weather. "The landing of the entire
       moon near the south pole is the most efficient technique
       for altering the tilt of the earth...we would have springtime
       all year long," he says. The project should be implemented

 "Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it."

"As the purse is emptied, the heart is filled."

 "He who hurries cannot walk with dignity."

-above are cookie fortunes


 "Villains, I say to you, knock off all that evil!" -The Tick

 "Bad politicians are sent to Washington by
good people who don't vote." William Simon

"When I get a little money I buy books. If there
is any money left, I buy food & clothes." -Erasmus

"I have no sense of decency; that way my other
senses are enhanced." -Bob Briscoe

"Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book;
inside of a dog, it is very dark. -Groucho Marx

"Don't sweat the petty things, pet the sweaty things." Anya Slovachek

                 3 Good Ways & 3 Bad Ways To Dump Your Lover!
                    1.) Carefully point out that's it's not their fault that
            leaving, only that the feelings are no longer there.
                    2.) Make clear that the relationship was very meaningful to
                you're sure that it's time to move on.
               3.) Make sure you both know that breaking up is certainly
                    going to be a painful experience, yet you know the pain is
                    only temporary.
                    1.) Make sure that you're the first person to tell your
                    partner your feelings or the hurt will be even greater.
                    2.) Keeping you partner just in case new love interests don't
                    work out. This can be particularly damaging to your partners
                    ability to trust & enter a new relationship of their own.
                    3.) Being so nice that you're partner can't feel angry toward
                    you. At least a little bit of bitterness is to be expected in order
                    for a relationship to end.

                   The 10 Best & Worst Foods for Your Health!

                    Best-                                 Worst-
                    1.) Apples                         1.) Bacon
                    2.) Avocados                    2.) Candy
                    3.) Bananas                      3.) Chocolate
                    4.) Broccoli                       4.) Corned beef
                    5.) Chicken                       5.) Egg yolk
                    6.) Fish                             6.) Fatty cuts of meat
                    7.) Oranges                      7.) Frankfurters
                    8.) Potatoes                      8.) Potato chips
                    9.) Skim milk                     9.) Smoked foods
                   10.) Whole wheat bread  10.) Whole-fat dairy products

Oh, greatest of the mass-media, thank you
for elevating emotion, reducing thought &
stifling imagination. Thank you for the
artificiality of quick solutions and for
the insidious manipulation of human desires
for commercial purposes. I offer a humble
sacrifice. Bestow thy flickering light forever.

Mr. Z: The more you know, the harder it is to take decisive action.

Mr. Z: Once you become informed, you start seeing complexities and
shades of gray.

Mr. Z: You realize that nothing is as clear and simple as it first appears.
Ultimately, knowledge is

Mr. Z: Being a man of action, I can't afford to take that risk.

Mr. V: You're ignorant, but at least you act on it...

Shocking Quotes!

"The burden of originality is one that most people don't want to accept.
They'd rather sit in front of the television and let that tell them what they're
supposed to like, what they're supposed to buy, and with the canned laughter,
what they're supposed to laugh at if you're too stupid to know when the joke is.
People are too lazy and too stupid to think for themselves because America has
raised them like that." "People are so desensitized these days you have to be really
shocking to get their attention. Then once you've got it you can say something
they might remember." "As with anything I do, everything is based on reactions
& responses.""I fear being like everybody I hate, I fear failure, I fear losing control. I love
balancing between chaos & control with everything I do. I always have fear of
going one way or another, getting lost in something, or losing everything & not
having anything to get lost in...and fear of being a completely acceptable sheep in society."

-Marilyn Manson

"If you don't want to get in trouble, the truth has to be worded very carefully."
-Beetle Bailey

"I don't care how I'm remembered because I won't be here to enjoy it."
-William Steig

"Many receive wisdom, only the wise profit from it." -Anon.

"None of the secrets of success will work unless you do." -Anon.

"It's better to lend a hand than to lend sympathy." -Anon.

            Your Own Private X-phile

            Want to have your own encounter with the unexplained? Drive no further than the Missouri/
            Oklahoma border near Joplin, Mo to get a chance to witness one of the strangest phenomenon
              Locals call it the Hornet Spook light. It is a mysterious ball of light that roams the back roads
            near Joplin. It has been frightening & delighting the locals for decades and has been subject of
            many different investigations. Thousands have seen it yet no-one can explain it.
              At night (especially at dusk) the light appears in the distance & reportedly, on occasion will
            approach at the speed of a person walking. Often it is said to disappear only to reappear behind
            the observant. Then it can float off, slits off into different directions or dance around.
               It is usually golden or red and is said to dance around.
               While the light usually sticks close to the road, it's been reported in nearby fields, drifting past
            house windows & on one occasion was said to enter a farmers barn.
            Upon rare occurrence it is said to come within a few feet of the observer.
               The spook light is surrounded by folklore. The most popular legends are that it is the ghost of
             a cruel confederate sergeant, executed by cannon fire, searching for his head or a miner searching
             for his kidnapped children by lantern.
                The only scientific explanation is that there could possibly be strange crystals in the ground near
             the area where the light is seen that generate some sort of peizo electric field that emits light.
             The theory has holes of it's own, however, such as the way the light seems to interact with the
             people watching it.
                 Whatever the case, the anomaly must be seen to be believed, and fortunately your chances are
             good. D.F.P.D. went on location to witness the spectacle & actually saw the light as soon as we
             arrived. While there is no guarantee that you'll see it, it's more likely than not you will.
                 How to get there-- Take I-44 from Springfield to Joplin for an our until you reach Hwy 43
             south. (This is where the Petro truckstop is located.) Go 6 miles to Hwy BB. Sign points to the left
             but you go right. Follow this black topped section to the T-intersection. Turn right. Take this till you
             get to the second non-residential dirt road on your left. You'll be able to see the light from any high
             vantage point along the road. Remember to pull off the road far enough to keep from blocking
             oncoming traffic.
                  Lastly, the best time to look for the light is when the leaves are off the trees. Still, you may need
             to stick around a couple of hours to experience anything. They also recommend you keep an eye
             out for secondary lights forming which may come closer to you than the original light.
                  Good luck!

The following are excerpts from a leading national magazine:
Galbraith notes that rather than address the economic injustice that is the root of
our social instability, the rich choose to vilify the poor as people with a naturally
"inferior, even criminal disposition." This view sets the stage for an increasingly oppressive
authority employed by those in power.
Rudy Naifeh, is a Los Angeles, California-based activist working to organize a
temporary-workers union. He tells an anecdote that illustrates in microcosm the
dangers inherent in the widening gap between rich & poor. "The other night I
pull into a gas station, and a rough looking character approaches me with a paper
cup in one hand and what looked like a tire iron in the other," he relates. "I shrugged
him off when he asked for some spare change; but as I walk into the mini-mart to pay,
I hear him
say something like, 'Your taillights will be alot safer if I can get me something to eat.'
It pissed me off that I'm having to cope with this threat when all I want to do is buy
some gas. But what are you gonna do? This guys got nothing and he sees somebody with
something. He resorts to his ace in the hole:the potential for violence. I'm not saying it's
right but there's an ineluctable logic there."
Pointing to his own cause-temp-workers' rights-Naifeh explains his assertion. "Temp
agencies have become the nations largest
employers," he says, "and the system they've constructed, with the help of lawyers
& politicians, is the worst abuse of indentured servitude since the plantations."
Naifeh speaks from experience. The 28-year-old former cabdriver moved to Los
Angeles in 1993 to look for a new occupation. He began with the classifieds, but
found virtually no opportunities with independent employers. "All the ads now are
for temp agencies, for middle men. The agencies have a virtual monopoly on opportunities
for low or unskilled workers."
Naifeh, while agreeing that temporary agencies provide a necessary service in certain
cases, sees the overwhelming control over entry-level and low-paying positions as a
cancer on the working class. "I find it absolutely criminal that the least rewarded
members of our society are the ones who must sacrifice half their income to some
corporate S.O.B. who is useful only because
he has effectively inserted himself as the middleman in the hiring process," he says.
As his group has fought for health benefits for temporary workers, as well as the
elimination of the bounty that discourages their permanent hire, Naifeh has come in
contact with countless low-wage workers who have become alienated by the new
social contract between employer & employee. "I remember one guy who read his
first check stub," he recounts. "When he saw the cut given back to the agency, he
immediately walked out saying, 'I'd rather go back to selling junk on the street. At
least it's honest.' I can't say I blame him.
"We really are heading back to a 19th century model," says Ralph. "If I had to make
any type of prediction, I'd say we're heading for a renaissance of social Darwinism."
The 19th century is best remembered by historians not for the celluloid fictions of black
hat & white hat gunfighters but for low reading levels, high infant mortality rates, rampant
disease, child labor, sweat shops and a level of human misery we would find unimaginable
today, but perhaps not tomorrow.

A funny thing happened at the driver's license office today...
I was taking a test for the Haz-Mat endorsement today. First, I noticed
a roach on my shirt (not many would admit this!) & flicked it off.  It crawled
across the floor & up onto the examiner's desk. She was an attractive late 30's
red-headed version of Sally Field. She freaked and sprayed the bugger
with some table-wax or something.
Then this old guy who must have been 100yrs old came in & said he needed
to take his test again 'cuz he said,
"I messed up." I almost couldn't stop laughing & made an ass of myself. Then
some kid who was starting out on his examination outside crashed into the
building. I was still chuckling at the old guy, not meaning to be dis-
respectful but liked the way he said "messed-up."

"Every profession in which a man is in constant
danger of losing his life has something fine
about it."
-Oscar Wilde

On Romance...

"Only God, my dear, could love you for
yourself alone and not your yellow hair."
-William Butler Yeats

"When you really want love you'll find it
waiting for you."  -Oscar Wilde (De Profundis)
"Tis better to have loved & lost than to never
have loved at all."  -Samuel Butler

"Love does not consist in gazing at each other
but in looking outward together in the same
direction."  -Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"Free love is sometimes love but never freedom."
-Elizabeth Bibesco

"At the top of the list of what makes a successful
marriage, I think, is a sense of humor."
-Deborah Kerr

"All great lovers are articulate, and verbal seduction
is the surest road to actual seduction."
-Marya Mannes

"Lord! I wonder what fool it was that first invented
kissing."  -Jonathan Swift

"Love must be learned. and learned again & again;
there's no end to it. Hate needs no instruction, but only
wants to be provoked."  -Katherine Anne Porter

"Many of us love from our need to love not because we
find someone deserving."  -Nikki Giovanni (The Women Gather)

"Love opens the door into everything, as far as I can see,
including and perhaps most of all, the door into one's own
secret, and often terrible and frightening real self."
-Mary Sarton (Mrs. Stevens Hears the Mermaids Singing)

"The course of true love never did run smooth."
-William Shakespeare (A Midsummer Night's Dream)
"Thou art unto me a delicious torment ."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson (Essays)

"Among those whom I like I can find no common
denominator, but among those whom I love, I can:
all of them make me laugh."
W. H. Auden (The Dyer's Hand)

"The art of love? It's knowing how to join the
temperament of a vampire with the discretion
of an anemone." E. M. Cioran

"Sexuality is the lyricism of the masses."
-Charles Baudelaire

"The spirit is often most free when the body is
satiated with pleasure; indeed sometimes the
stars shine more brightly when seen from the
gutter than from the hilltop."
-W. Somerset Maugham

"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."
-Sigmund Freud

"A kiss can be a comma, a question mark, or an
exclamation point. That's basic spelling every
woman ought to know."  -Mistinguett

"The reason so many women fake orgasms is
because so many men fake foreplay."  -Anon.

"The difference between erotica & pornography
is the lighting."  -Gloria Leonard

"Nothing is either all masculine or all feminine
except intercourse."  -Marlo Thomas

"Blondes have the hottest kisses, Redheads are
fair-to-middling torrid & brunettes are the most
frigid of all. It's something to do with hormones,
no doubt."  -Ronald Reagan

"It is certainly very hard to write about sex in
English without making it unattractive."
-Edmund Wilson

"Chastity is curable if detected early."  -Anon.
"Why do they put the Gideon Bibles only in the
bedroom, where it's usually too late & not in the
barroom downstairs?"  -Christopher Morley

"Women complain about sex more often than
men. Their gripes fall into two major categories:
(1) Not enough (2) Too much.  -Ann Landers

"Switch their husbands!"  -Jeff Wayne

"Those people who think good sex is more important
to a marriage than good manners will find they are
wrong. It is an irony appreciated only by the French
that good manners are the basis of very good sex.
In bed, the three most erotic words in any language
are 'thank you' & 'please.'"  -Hubert Downs

"You mustn't force love to do the work of sex or
sex to do the work of love."  -Mary McCarthy

"Marriage has many pains but celibacy has no pleasures."
-Samuel Johnson

"Do not exploit. Do not be exploited. Remember that sex
is not out there, but in here, in the deepest layer of your
own being. There is not only a morning after--there are also
lots of days & years afterwards."  -Jacob Neusner

"Men make love more intensely at 20, but they make love
better, however, at 30."  -Catherine II of Russia
"What is beyond Desire, but Desire?"  -Gretel Ehrlich

Erotic Double-Talk

Once in a while you hear juicy stories from
your buddies about over-the-top "romantic"
interludes. Well, when you break those
fables down to the matter-of-fact, what you
get is something a little closer to the real

Phrase used: "This is the first time I told
anyone this, but..."
Translation: "This is the first time I told
anyone this since 8 o' clock this morning."

Phrase used: "I'm a student at a large
Translation: "I once ran through the campus
of a large university while chasing my dog."

Phrase used: "I live in one of the sorority
Translation: "I live in a shed about a mile
from a sorority house."

Phrase used: "She had a small, firm bottom."
Translation: "Helicopters could have used
her butt as a landing strip."

Phrase used: "The girl blushed when we made
Translation: "She got pissed when I stared
at her."

Phrase used: "Nineteen-year-old nursing assistant."
Translation: "Seventy-two-year-old nurse."

Phrase used: "My manly body is rippled
with muscles."
Translation: "His effeminate body is covered
from head to toe with cellulite."

Phrase used: "Take me, take me now!"
Translation: "Get away from me you pervert."

Phrase used: "She writhed in ecstasy
beneath me."
Translation: "My 300-pound belly was crushing
her into the bedsprings."

Phrase used: "She was aching for me."
Translation: "She was still sore from her
tift with the football team last night."

Phrase used: "She was built like a
Greek Goddess."
Translation: "She was slightly younger than the
Parthenon and just as eroded."

Phrase used: "She caressed my large
bulbous muscle."
Translation: "She grew nausiated at the
site of my strips of course, mutton-like fat."

Phrase used: "Her dangling breasts."
Translation: "One went south, the other, west."

Phrase used:                          Translation:
"My 12" member."                     5 inches
"My 11" member."                  5 1/8 inches
"My 10" member."                  5 1/4 inches
"My 9" member."                    5 3/8 inches
"My 8" member."                    5 1/2 inches
"My 7" member."                    5 3/4 inches
"My 6" member."                       6 inches
("Six-inch member" phrase used once every
20 years.)

Phrase used: "Her nether-regions were
moist with anticipation."
Translation: "Her penicillin shot is due."

Phrase used: "Her pouty lips."
Translation: "She was mad as hell because
I wouldn't pay her full price."

Bangkok: City of Corruption
(Items derived from leading men's magazines.)
Known as the "City of Smiles" but one feels that foreigners are not liked,
although their money is.
Population of 7 million people. One million of them prostitutes.
"Recruiters" sent out to Northern & Northeastern regions to scout for new
girls. Sometimes "buying the girls" outright from the impoverished parents
for the equivalent of three or four hundred dollars.
Instead of going to promised homes or factories many women are first
taken to hotels & raped. If she resists the process is repeated along with
severe beatings. The ones who continue to show defiance are locked in
small rooms, food & water withheld. More beatings take place till the woman
becomes compliant. The ones who remain resistant suffer gang rapes & batterings.
She's forced to service clients in a private home for several weeks. Once she is
deemed "reliable" she is sent to work in a bar or massage parlor along Pat Pong Road.
Of the one million prostitutes, mostly between the ages of 15 & 24, 70% of them
are infected with STDs.
Children, male & female are available for sex. A virgin child, however unwilling,
will still fetch a premium. Children found abandoned or kidnapped are easy
game for the "scouts" of Pat Pongs sex industry.
Reportedly, four female rape victims report to hospitals in Bangkok every hour
for treatment of injuries resulting from sex-crimes.
Thai police are so poorly paid that they turn to assisting in organized crime or
"looking the other way" as methods of supplementing their incomes. Upon
occasion it is known that police will force themselves in hotel rooms and do
searches and declare to finding controlled substances, usually heroin, at which
time they ask for a bribe to "forget the incident."
Of the allocations sent by foreign governments(including the US) to assist in the
welfare of smaller cultures outside of the metropolitan areas, millions are seized
before the money finds it true benefactor. One high cabinet minister reveals that
as much as 75% of foreign aid is pocketed before it reaches its destination.
Barbiturates are said to appear in bus-passangers' food & drink. When victims
pass out personals & baggage are rifled at leisure. Those recovering too soon
might have their throats cut. Females in movie theaters pick up tourists & buy
him a drink. A promising situation goes bad when he awakes(if he's lucky)
penniless, with all valuables gone. Backpackers have their packs slashed
and personals removed by razor artists on city buses. Many times the death
of a tourist is considered the answer to the resisting of a robbery.
Thinking about living out all your fantasies in the Asian adult Disneyland?
Think again.

Sexual Jealousy
Jealousy is defined as: "Intolerant of rival or infidelity."  "Disposed to suspect rivalry
or unfaithfulness." "Apprehensiveness at the loss of another's devotion." "Zealous
in guarding a possession." Jealousy entails the fear of losing something one has
rather than desiring something one doesn't have, which is regarded as envy.
Presumably men become jealous over the idea of their woman being sexual with
another woman while women become jealous over their men giving time, attention,
affections & other resources to other women. We have to refer to the environment of
our earliest known ancestors to find the reasoning for all of this.

The hepatitis-sex connection
Hepatitis strains all attack the liver. This includes less common D & E
strains. They sometimes produce flu-like symtoms. Hep B & C can
lead to chronic liver disease & increase the risk of liver cancer.
Although vaccines are available to treat stains A & B, more than half
a million Americans are infected with some form of the virus each year
and eventually die from it.
Not all are caught through sex. Unprotected anal & oral sex make possible
Hep A but it can also be contacted through contaminated food or water.
(Usually from contaminated foodstuffs resulting from employees not
washing hands after leaving the bathroom.) Symtoms include: jaundice,
fatigue, vomiting, nausea & diarrhea & tends to last a few weeks.
B is contacted mostly through vaginal or anal sex. Partners using unpro-
tected sex practices should routinely be tested to determine whether or
not either partner has contacted Hep B.
Hep C is contacted through the above methods and from tattoos & body
piercings as well as blood transfusions. It leads to chronic liver problems
to 70-75% of those infected.
Final word? Use condoms. Never share razors or toothbrushes or any thing
that comes in contact with blood. If traveling, ask your doctor for a Hep A

Things a Guy Wants on a First Date
1) Enthusiasm 2) Observance 3) Communication 4) A simple pleasant gesture
of mild physical contact 5) Rescue us from embarrassment
(as listed in a leading woman's magazine.)

SEX-Rated Survey  (Warning: This is ADULT ORIENTED stuff!)
The following is a survey conducted to find out the "turn-ons" for men.
59% Prefer to fall asleep snuggling with a woman.
54% Think foreplay should last more than 15 min.
48% Prefer sex in dim lighting.
41% Like women to treat them "lovingly" in bed.
33% Like women to treat them "teasingly" in bed.
99% Like getting grabbed in the kitchen.
96% Enjoy their women masturbating them.
93% Like to watch you do yourself.
90% Like it when you send a romantic card.
89% Like when you grab their hand while walking down the street.
83% When you laugh together in bed.
81% When you watch adult oriented movies together.
73% When you talk together in bed.
13% When you're pregnant.
90% Tuned off by upper-lip hair.
84% By armpit hair.
83% By a pierced nose.
80% By leg hair.
80% When you talk about your ex-lover in bed.
71% By smoking cigars or cigarettes near him.
70% When you speak baby talk to him in public.
51% When you kiss him with morning breath.
40% When you bite your nails.
31% When you snore.

% of men who have tried:
Sex Toys-61%
Toe Sucking-38%
Golden Showers-9%
(Compiled from leading women's magazines.)

 Ten Myths About Sex
1) Sex is serious business: Often it can be (& should be) playful
& occasionally downright silly..
2) Sex belong under the covers or in the dark: It should be a
24-hour-a-day option & kept open & honest..
3) Trying new (or different) things make you weird (or
perverted): That which pleases both partners and harms no-
one should be regarded as healthy.. set your own rules &
remember.. "variety is the spice of life!"
4) Bodies get boring: A couple can actually have an improved
sex life as they get more familiar with each other..
5) Men are ready for sex anytime while women need to be
"in the mood": A misconception, as men, too, are affected by
emotions & led from above, not below, the belt..
6) No one wants to be a sex object: Men & women like for
their sexuality (which is an inherent part of their personality)
to be addressed & everyone likes to be thought of as "desirable"..
7) An ego is a fragile thing as far a sexuality is concerned:
An open line of communication can prevent the lines from getting
crossed in sex-play.. (also see number one, above)
8) Lack of orgasms can be hazardous to your health: If orgasm is
not an outcome, a couple can just enjoy the closeness of the sex
9) After age 55, the thrill is gone: New studies indicate that
sexual desire & activity can progress into the later decades of
10) The man knows everything there is to know: In past decades
it was thought that a "real man" new all there was about sex.. We
now know this to be untrue.. Both partners can bring knowledge &
experience into the bedroom for the benefit of both partners..
11) Most men can only "last" a few minutes: In truth, many men
find it difficult to sustain past the initial first few minutes, but
many men who are able to focus upon the pleasure of their partner
are capable of a prolonged sexual play, for as long as they like..
Many techniques & tips are available for the eager male student..
12) Most women do not orgasm: Many women do not orgasm until
late in life.. This is do in part to shame for self-exploration, partners
who are unwilling to spend time focusing on her pleasure & the fact
that a woman must hold a degree of familiarity & comfort with the
partner of her choosing to relax & let these miracles unfold..

 Item: Statistical Promiscuity Analysis
   Survey from a leading young men's magazine states:
   1) Seventy % of women who smoke are likely to have had more than four
   lovers in the last year while 60% of female non-smokers had none.
   2) Women who respond to sex surveys in leading American women's
   magazines have 5 times as many lovers as typical women.
   3) The more educated the woman, the more turned on by the prospect of
   anonymous sexual encounters. Also she is more likely to enjoy the
   prospects of oral sex. Giving & receiving. Ditto with anal sex.
   4) Women who have positive attitudes toward sex are probably less
   5) White teenage girls are 60% more likely to have sex when raised in
   a single parent household.
   6) Women who lost their virginity by their 18th birthday are more likely
   to be sexually active then those who didn't.
   7) Women who have spent at least one night in jail are 50% more
   likely to have had ten lovers in the past year then those with no
   criminal record.
   8) Although latin women have sex at a much greater frequency than
   white or black women (about equal on the scale) although the
   black women are 50% more likely to experience orgasm upon every
   9) 20% of women who live with their boyfriends have more than one
   sex partner.
   10) Australian women are much more likely to have sex on the
   evening of the first date.

   Also: Location.
   1) In a car? M-73% W-68%
   2) The outdoors? M-66% W-65%
   3) On a waterbed? M-51% W-46%
   4) In parent's bed? M-45% W-35%
   5) In a public building? M-30% W-26%
   6) On-line? M-11% W-9%
   Jon Sin in any of these places? 0% Well, almost.
   I "did it" online 2x. But with the same person!!

   1) 20% of college students are virgins.
   2) Average # of sex partners for the rest of them? Only 6.4.
   3) Only 1% saw they "do it" on the first date.
   4) 50% say they feel they should be in love with the person.
   5) Seven in 10 say they'll marry someday. Only 3% think
   marriage is an outmoded institution.

Accidental Love
Roberta Forrest
Pacific Coast Insurance
Portland, OR

Dear Ms. Forest,

I received the notice that you are canceling my car insurance because
of my recent string of collisions. The accidents were entirely due to my
inability to concentrate on driving brought on by falling in love with
someone who does not love me back [Or how about an insensitive lover
admitting her infidelity to you over the phone before you are about to
embark upon a trip? -Ed.] Until now my record was impeccable: I swerved
& anticipated, avoided the love wrecks, the pileups of infatuation, the
fender-benders of obsession. I cannot explain what happened but I
promise that it will not happen again- cause an accident, that is. They can
hit me all they want but I am not letting love interfere with my insurance.
The people I hit- the couple in the vintage Cadillac, all the nice people from
the pile-up on the interstate & the man in the totaled Toyota-- have all
heard my story and are sympathetic to my loss of vehicular concentration.
They are rooting for me Surely, Ms. Forrest, you can reinstate my policy if
I sign a love waiver-- if I pledge to never drive in love again.

Ramsey McPhillips

from: LOVISM by
Ramsey McPhillips

What Jon Sin found while browsing through 4000 female personal ads on AOL...
When you break down the age groups, with minute exception, this is what you'll likely find:
18-23: Mostly attractive young things who are well versed in "ebonics," Catholic or "other
Christian," looking for "cute boys to party with."
24-30: Usually not unattractive women who are usually single yet have one, two or
three children, looking for "ambitious men," & non-practicing (religious faith.)
31-40: Women looking for a goodhearted man (or woman, often no interest in heterosexual
relations) who likes kids (hers are almost in high-school) and is agnostic or adamantly atheist.

When considering & analyzing the statistics, Jon & Billy decide that women are
pre-programmed (religion) & mis-guided (early relations with selfish "type-A"  men)
and corrupted (use of slang, slacker mentalities & "party" interests on the forefront--
with their nubile attractiveness their need for attention and social stimulation
fulfilled by engaging in social practices that at this age all to often lead to naive sexual
indoctrination & parenthood.
A man once said a woman borned handsome is a woman borned married. These day it
should read, "A woman borned handsome is a woman borned pregnant (or at least corrupted,
or both..)
By engaging in relations with young men children often follow leaving young women to
face parenthood on difficult terms and the harsh reality that not only did the
"alpha-male" who impregnated her move on to other prospects (leaving them too in the
same wake) but the chances of her finding a quality man willing to assist in the rearing of
another man'schild in a proper, healthy manner extremely slim!
Upon onset of middle age the woman is not as interested in child-rearing as getting a certain
degree of attention which may be fulfilled more by another woman. More than ever
women are seeking "bi-curious" interludes with  other women in part because the alpha-male
whom she initially had the relationship with was very capable of convincing her of bonding
with him but incapable of fulfilling her emotional (perhaps other) needs. She makes the
mistake of thinking that all men are similar to the personality profile of this alpha-male.

Parents must more carefully assist in the selection of potential dating candidates. A stronger
communication and respect (as well as discipline) over the formulate years will create a bond
of trust in adolescence. Apathy in regards to allowing an adolescent to date indiscriminately or
believing a person in this age group can make mature decisions of this manner is unfortunately improper.
Usually it is not the female adolescent who is deciding upon dating prospects, it is the sly,
persuasive alpha-male who is convincing her to make these decisions.
Initially it is thought that just as young men are attracted to beautiful young women that
young women are attracted to rough & tumble, boisterous, socially aggressive males and it is noted
that if a young female is not initially attracted to the alpha-male that she will ultimately "give in."
The true solution is for young women to look toward the more passive male stock and initiate
relations with these. In our modern society it makes sense not to perpetuate the primitive elements in the
guise of the alpha-male.

The Genius of Oscar Wilde
"Between me & life there are a mist of words always."
"If life be, as it is, a problem to me, I am no less a problem to life."
"Those whom the gods hate die old."
"Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to
be faithless & cannot."
"We never get back to our youth. The pulse of joy that beats in us
at twenty, becomes sluggish. Or limbs fail, our senses rot. We
degenerate into hideous puppets, haunted by the memory of the
passions of which we were much too afraid, and the exquisite
temptations that we had not the courage to yield to."
"To get back to one's youth one has merely to repeat one's
"Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing it is always
from the noblest motives."
"America is the noisiest country that ever existed."
"All Americans lecture, I believe. I suppose it is something in their climate."
"For the American man Art has no marvel, beauty no meaning & the past
no message. He thinks that civilization began with the introduction of
steam and looks with contempt upon all centuries that had no hot water
apparatuses  in their houses."
"If the Americans are not the most well-dressed people in the world, they
are the most comfortably dressed."
"One should either be a work of art or wear a work of art."
"The only way to atone for being occasionally a little over-dressed is to
to be absolutely over-educated."
"Man is least himself when he talks in his own self. Give him a mask & he will
reveal himself."
"It is through art & art only that we can realize our perfection. Through art
only that we can shield ourselves from the sordid perils of actual existence."
"The secret of life is art."
"The meaning of any beautiful created thing is as much in the beholder as
in the one who wrought the thing."
"The aim of art is no more to give pleasure than to give pain. The aim of art
is art."
"There are works that wait, which one does not understand for a time. That
is because they bring answers to questions that have not been raised yet, for
the question sometimes arrives a terribly long time after the answer."
"Art is the one good thing that death cannot harm."
"No art is better than bad art."
"It is always with the best intentions that the worst work is done."
"All art is quite useless."
"All art is immoral."
"There are two ways to dislike art. One is to dislike it outright, the other is to
like it rationally."
"Art should always remain mysterious. Artists, like Gods, must never leave
their pedestals."
"Alone, without any reference to his neighbors, without any interference
the artist can fashion a beautiful thing. And if he does not do it solely for
his own pleasure, he is not an artist at all."
"A true artist pays no attention to the public. To the true artist the public
are non-existent."
"The more the public is interested in artists, the less it is interested in art.
The personality of the artist is nothing the public should know anything
"To call an artist morbid because he deals with morbidity as his subject
matter is as silly as if one called Shakespeare mad because he wrote
King Lear."
"Vice & virtue are to the artist material for an art."
"The young artist who paints nothing but beautiful things misses 1/2
the world."
"The only artists I know as personally delightful are bad artists. Good
artists exist only in what they make, and are consequently perfectly
uninteresting in what they are."
"The best service of God is to worship all that is beautiful."
"Philosophies fall away like sand, and creeds fallow one another like
the withered leaves of autumn; but what is beautiful is a joy for all
seasons and a possession for all eternity."
"I have found that all things ugly are created by those who try to make
something beautiful & all beautiful things are made by those who wish to
make something useful."
"Aestheticism is the search after the signs of the beautiful. It is, to speak
more exactly, the search after the secret of life."
"The poor are wiser, more charitable, kinder & more sensitive than we
"Those who have much are greedy. Those who have little, share."
"Common sense is the enemy of romance."
"Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in
friendship is conversation."
"The things a person feels absolutely certain about are never true.
That is the fatality of faith, the lesson of romance."
"Men never die for what is true. They die for what they want to be true..
for what some terror in their heart tells them is not true."
"It is only because a man is unable to do something that he becomes a
proper judge of it."
"Prison life makes one see things as they really are. That is why it turns
one to stone. It is the people outside who are deceived to believe that
life is in constant motion."
"To those in prison, tears are a part of everyday experience. A day in
prison that one does not weep is a day in which one's heart is hard, not
a day when one is happy."
"The moment criticism excercises any influence it ceases to be
criticism. The aim of a true critic is to try and chronicle his own moods,
not to try to correct the masterpieces of others."
"It is exactly because a man cannot do a thing that he is a proper
judge of it."
"Everything is dangerous. If it were not so, life would not be worth living."
"Drama is the meeting place between art & life."
"She behaves as if she is beatiful. Most American women do. It is the
secret of their charm."
"Disobedience to anyone who has read history, is man's original virtue.
It is through disobedience that progress has been made. Through this &
"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight & his
punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world."
"Society often forgives the criminal; it never forgives the dreamer."
"My duty to myself is to amuse myself terrifically."
"Nothing that is worth knowing can be taught."
"Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching."
"Give children beauty, not the record of bloody slaughters & barbarous
brawls as they call history, or the latitudes & longitudes of places nobody
cares to visit, as they call geography."
"The school should be the most beautiful pace in every town & village-
so beautiful that the punishment for undutiful children be that they be
debarred from attending the following day."
 "It is only shallow people who take years to get rid of an emotion.
A man who the master of himself can end a sorrow as quickly as he can
invent a pleasure."
"England never appreciates a poet till he is dead."
"Be careful to choose your enemies well. Friends don't much matter
but the choice of enemies is very important."
"Every effect one produces gives one an enemy. To be popular one
must be a mediocrity."
"Few parents today pay no regard to what their children say to them.
The old-fashioned respect for the young is quickly dying out."
"When in London one hides everything. When in Paris one reveals
"A map of the world that does not include Utopia isn't even worth
looking at, for it leaves out the one country which humanity is
always landing. And when humanity lands there, it looks out, and seeing
a more beautiful country, sets sail. Progress is the realization of
"To be entirely free & at the same time entirely dominated by law is
the eternal paradox of human life that we must realize at every moment."
"All authority is quite degrading. It degrades those whom exercise it &
those over whom it exercises."
"Whenever there is hatred between two people, born is a bond of
brotherhood of some kind."
"Where one laughs there is no immorality. Immorality & seriousness
 begin together."
"Laughter is the primeval attitude towards life- a mode of life that survives
only in artists & criminals."
"Life is never fair."
"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist & that is all."
"One can exist for years without living at all, then all life comes crowding
into one single hour."
"There is no such thing as a moral or immoral book. Either is is well written
or badly written."
"The books that are called immoral books show the world it's own shame."
"All love is a tragedy."
"Misunderstanding.......is the basis of love."
"True love suffers, and is silent."
"Everyone is worthy of love except he who thinks he is."
"Faithfulness is to the emotional life what consistency is to the life of the
intellect...simply a confession of failure."
"Lust...makes one love all that one loathes."
"It is difficult not to be unjust to that which one loves.:
"One should always be in love. This is why one should never marry."
"How marriage ruins a man! It's demoralizing as cigarettes & far more
"The only charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely
necessary for both parties."
"Men marry because the are tired..women because they are curious...
& are both disappointed."
"When women marry again it is because they detested their first
husbands..when men remarry it is because they adored their first wife...
women try their luck, men risk theirs."
"Men know life to early. Women know life too late. That is the difference
between men & women."
"The soul of a woman is beauty. The soul of a man is strength. If we could
combine the two, we would have a perfection sought by art since art began."
"Women love us for our defects. If we have enough of them they will
forgive eveything..even our intellects."
"Women always want men to be good. And if we are good when they meet us
they don't love us at all. They like to find us quite irretrievably bad and to leave
us quite unattractively good."
"Talk to every woman as though you loved her and every man as though he
bored you. At the end of the first season you will gain a reputation of possessing
the most perfect social tact."
"When a man has once loved a woman he will do anything for her except
continue to love her."
"A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her."
"Men always want to be a woman's first love. This is their clumsy vanity......
Women have a more subtle instinct about things. What they like is to be a
man's last romance."
"Between men & women there is no friendship possible- only passion, enmity,
worship, love..but no friendship."
"If you want to know what a woman really means- which is always a dangerous thing
to do- look at her, don't listen to her."
"No man has any real success in this world unless he has got women to back him, &
women rule society. If you have not got women on your side, you are quite over. You
might as well be a barrister, a stockholder or a journalist at once."
"It is always nice to be expected & not arrive."
"We are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars."
"The man who possesses a permanent address, and whose name is found in the directory,
is necessarily limited and localized. Only a tramp has absolute liberty of living."
"Between the famous & infamous there is but one step, if so much as one."
"Misfortunes one can endure-they come from outside, they are accidents. But to suffer for
one's own faults-ah!-there is the sting of life."
"One needs misfortunes to live happily."
"Suffering is a terrible fire. It either purifies or destroys."
"We live in the age of the over-worked & under-educated; an age which people are so
industrious that they become absolutely stupid."
"We live in an age that reads too much to be wise & thinks too much to be beautiful."
"To yield to one's moods is to really live."
"Manners are more important than morals."
"Music is the art...which most completely realizes the artistic idea, and is the condition
to which all the other arts are constantly aspiring."
"Music...creates for one a past that one has been ignorant & fills one with sorrows that
have been hidden from one's tears."
"Nature, which makes nothing durable, always repeats itself so that nothing which it
makes may be lost."
"Of course I plagiarize. It is the privilege of the appreciative man."
"The tears that we shed at a play are a type of the exquisite emotions that it is the function
of Art to awaken. We weep, but are not wounded. We grieve, but our grief is not bitter."
"I adore simple pleasures. They are the last refuge of the complex."
"Poetry should be like a crystal. It should make life more beautiful & less real."
"Bad poets: They live a poetry that they cannot write while others write the poetry that
 they cannot live."
"A poet can survive anything butt a misprint."
"I like persons better that principles, and I like persons with no principles better
than anything better than anything else in the world."
"The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything except that which is worth knowing."
"The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius."
"Public opinion exists only where there are no ideas."
"I have never heard any man mention his brother. The subject seems distasteful to most men."
"I can't help detesting my relations. I suppose it comes from the fact none of us can stand other
people having the same faults as ourselves."
"When one is in love it begins by deceiving oneself & always ends by deceiving others.
That is what the world calls a romance."
"Women...spoil every romance by trying to make it last forever."
"Sin is the only real color-element left in modern life."
"Sins of the flesh are nothing. They are maladies for physicians to cure, if they should be cured.
Sins of the soul alone are shameful."
"The only horrible thing in the world is ennui...That is the one sin for which there is no forgiveness."
"They do not sin at all who sin for love."
"The only difference between the saint & the sinner is that every saint has a past & every sinner has
a future."
"We are dominated by the fanatic, who's worst vice is his sincerity."
"Never speak disrespectfully of society. Only those who cannot get into it do that."
"To get into the best society, nowadays, one has either to feed people, amuse people, or shock people."
"London society is composed now entirely of beautiful idiots & brilliant lunatics. Just what Society
should be."
"Other people are quite dreadful. The only possible society is oneself."
"There is something about success that is a little unscrupulous, something about ambition that
is unscrupulous always."
"There is something vulgar in all success. The greatest men fail-or seam to the world to have failed."
"Suicide is the greatest compliment one can pay to society."
"Sometimes I think the artistic life is a long and lovely suicide, and am not sorry that it is so."
"Humanitarian sympathy wars against Nature, by securing the survival of the failure."
"The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it. Resist is, and your soul grows sick with
longing for the things it has forbidden to itself."
"To die for ones theological beliefs is the worst use a man can make of his life."
"In matters of religion, the truth is simply the opinion that has survived."
"When I think of all the harm that book [The Bible] has done I despair ever writing anything equal to it."
"The Catholic Church is for saints & sinners alone. For respectable people the Anglican Church will do."
"Missionaries are the divinely provided food for destitute and underfed cannibals. Whenever they are on the
brink of starvation, Heaven, in its infinite mercy, sends them a nice plump missionary."
"It is easy to convert others. It is so difficult to convert oneself."
"He who would live a Christ like life is he who is perfectly and absolutely himself."
"Anybody can be good in the country. There are no temptations there."
"What one really wants is not to be praised or blamed but to be understood."
"Only the great masters of style ever succeed in being obscure."
"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance."
"It would be unfair to expect others to be as remarkable as oneself."
"Civilization is not by any means an easy thing to attain to. There are only two ways in which
man may reach it. One is by being cultured, the other by being corrupt."
"One could never pay to high a price for any sensation."
"To have a capacity for a passion & not to realize it is to make oneself incomplete & limited."
"I have the greatest contempt for optimism."
"Whenever one has something unpleasant to say, one should be quite candid."
"Create yourself. Be yourself your poem."
"One can always be kind to those to whom one cares nothing. This is why English family life is so pleasant."
"Man can believe the impossible but can never believe the improbable."
"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative."
"The only thing worse than being talked about...is not being talked about."
"The two tragedies of life. Never having what one desires...the other-- having it."
"I would sooner have fifty unnatural vices than one unnatural virtue."
"It is the sign of a noble nature to refuse to be broken by force. Never attempt to reform a man.
Men never repent."
"It is absurd to divide people into good & bad. People are either charming or tedious."
"To be good is to be in harmony with oneself. To be in discord is to be forced into harmony with others."
"Wickedness is a myth invented by good people to account for the curious attractiveness of others."
"One is punished for the good as well as the evil that one does."
"As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination. When it is looked upon as vulgar,
it will cease to to be popular."
"What this century worships is wealth. The God of this century is wealth."
"We forget that the true perfection of man lies in what he is, not what he has."
"Work is the curse of the drinking classes."
"Man is made for something better than disturbing dirt. Work of that nature should be done by machines."
"Hard work is the refuge of those who have nothing better to do."
"Idleness gives one the mood in which to write, isolation the conditions."
"Romantic surroundings are the worst surroundings possible for the romantic writer."
"[Of the modern novelist] If they do not go into society their books are unreadable; and if they do go into the
city, they have not time left to write."
"If my work pleases the few I am gratified. As far as the mob, I have no desire to be a popular novelist.
It is far too easy."
"I don't write to please cliques. I write to please myself."
"I wrote when I did not know life; now that I do know the meaning of life, I have no more to write.
Life cannot be written, life can only be lived."

 "Mention the word poetry in America & you'll get
a gun stuck in your ass. Whereas guys who work
in the street in Paris collecting garbage love 19th
century painting."
Jim Jarmusch Cineaste (June 1996)

"There is a strange relationship between the
system of a country & its people. In England,
the people are hostile to a man but the system
is compassionate. The very old, the very young,
and the ill-equiped-to-live will always be looked
after. In America everyone is almost doggie-like
friendly but once you've pronounced yourself
unproductive to the system, you've had it."
Quentin Crisp Resident Alien (1996)

"No country not experiencing a revolution or military defeat with a
subsequent occupation has probably ever as rapid or wide-spread
increase in inequality as we've experienced in America over the
past 2 decades." Raising the question of whether or not the trend is
a sign of incivility.
Americas' economic productivity continues to rise and the stock
market sets new records. Yet the prospects of those on the bottom
rung of society have deteriorated. Tens of millions of us are one paycheck
away from life on the streets and millions more lack health insurance.
People like William Bennet point to celebrities such as Dennis Rodman or
Albert Belle as profiles in incivility. Let us for a moment put the spotlight
on the star of the business world, Albert Dunlap.
Albert J. Dunlap went to the Scott paper company & in 20 months fired
11,200 workers. One third of the workforce. By the time he left in 1995,
shareholders saw the price of their stock rise 225 percent. Al pocketed
more than $100 million! He attracted the Sunbeam company who hoped that
he could make their modestly profitable company into a very, very profitable
company. In July '96, when Al was hired, appluaded the move by sending
Sunbeam's stock up 50% before he even showed up for work.
The title of Dennis Rodman's new book, "As Bad as I Wanna Be", reflects
his disdain for moral sensibilities. The title of Dunlap's new book, "Mean
Business", reflects his disdain for the welfare of the community. Who's
more vulgar? Who's more dangerous? Who demonstrates greater in-

 More power in the hands
of the music consumer
As of recently I have a new toy. It's a Sony
mini-disc player. I envisioned these things
once but never thought that the industry would
allow for such technology to fall in the hands of
the general consumer populous. It's like a
recordable CD player but smaller.. smaller
than an average walk-man cassette player!
I record songs off the radio. There's alot of
songs that I like but don't know the name of
them (jerky DJ's never name songs anymore!)
or I wouldn't want to but the whole album
(most popular albums put out today are like
two good songs & the rest pure crap!) So
far I have filled up four 74 min. discs with tunes
(mainly lite-jazz & soft classic-rock tunes.) I
can get 19 or 20 songs on each disc. Then I
can record these discs onto tape for myself
to listen to while driving.
How convenient! I figure I've saved $1200 in
CDs just to get key songs & Only paid $500
for the recorder/player the first batch of discs
& a maintenance warranty. So, the thing already
paid for itself in like, only a month! Cool....
Anyway I can lash back at the music corporations..

Cops R not always cool!

Well, I used to love cops but now I have a new out-look
on cops. Namely California cops. They have a bad rep
already but now that I've been in L.A. for over a month I
think there's something to this. And here's why..
A coupla' weeks back I was sleeping in my truck, in a
truckstop in Ontario, Ca. Some punk started banging on
the side of my truck & woke me up & nearly scared me to
death. It turned out to be a cop. I cracked my window & he
started babbling something in broken English. I mean, if you're
gonna have cops, they should speak the language, right...!?
Well, I eventually figured out he wanted me to take off for
some reason. Turned out, some truck driver went crazy and
threatened his wife with a gun. They were trying to evacuate
the area. So, when I moved out on the street & threw on my
4-way flashers so I could run inside the truck-stop to get
some milk for my cereal I returned to find a lady-cop running
around my truck with her flashlight seemingly doing some
kind of voo doo dance & freaking out! When I walked up
to 'esplain the situation (she was also latin-American) she
just shouted me down with a tirade about my choice to park
on this desolate street (she later wrote on my ticket that traffic
volume was moderate, which was crap!) and I felt like crying...
my explanation of my situation falling on apathetic
ears. Did I mention I WAS PISSED? I tried to contest the
charge when she asked me to sign the ticket. She said if I
didn't sign it I would be arrested & the truck impounded. A
reeeeal nice lady!!! So I signed the ticket not with my
signature but with the words "This is bullshit!" She didn't
even notice.


"He who doesn't accept the conditions of his life sells his soul."
-Charles Baudelaier

"Lord, grant that I may always desire more than I can accomplish."

"It the wind will not serve, take to the oars."
"We always like those who admire us but we do not always like
those whom we admire."

"But he man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he
destroys his own soul." -The Bible

"Adversity makes men think of God." -Livy

"The bravest sight in this world is a man fighting against the odds."
-Franklin K. Lane

"Discover someone to help shoulder your misfortunes. Then you will
never be alone...neither fate, nor the crowd, so readily attacks two."
-Baltasar Gracian

"God brings men into deep waters.. not to drown them, but to cleanse them."

"A good scare is worth more to a man then good advice." -Watson Edgar Howe
"I realize that advice is worth what it costs-- that is, nothing."
-Douglas McArthur

"He who is of a calm & happy nature will hardly feel the pressure of age,
but to him who is of an opposite disposition youth & age are are equally a burden."

"We are so fond of one-another because our ailments are the same."
-Jonathon Swift

"A man of high ambitions must leave even his fellow adventurers and go forth
into deeper solitude and greater trials."
"The first requisite of a good citizen in this republic of ours is that he shall be
able & willing to pull his weight."
-Theodore Roosevelt

"If America ever passes out as a great nation, we ought to put on our tombstone:
America died from a delusion she had moral leadership." -Will Rogers

"The greatest cure of anger is delay." -Seneca

"Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for
the worst of them all-- the apathy of human beings." -Hellen Keller

"The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated."
-William James

"Architecture is frozen music." -J.W. Von Gothe

"Never make the mistake of arguing with people for which opinions you have
no respect." -The Bible

"An atheist does not find God for the same reason a thief does not find a policeman."
"If you wish to travel far & fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies,
unforgivenesses, selfishness & fears." -Glenn Clark

"History teaches us that when a barbarian race confronts a sleeping culture, the
barbarian always wins." -Arnold Toynbee

"He who receives a benefit should never forget it.. he who bestows one should
never remember it." -Charron

"The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't
read them." -Mark Twain

"When I get a little money, I buy books... if I have any money left, I buy food &
shelter." -Erasmus

"No furniture so charming as books, even if you never open them or read a single
word." -Sydney Smith

"It is not the fast tempo of modern life that kills but the boredom, a lack of strong
interest, and a failure to grow that destroy. It is the feeling that nothing is worth-
while that makes men ill & unhappy." -Harold Dodds

"Physical bravery is an animal instinct; moral bravery is a much higher & truer
courage." -Wendell Phillips

"We are always too busy for our children; we never give them the time or interest they
deserve; We lavish gifts upon them but the most precious gift-- our personal association,
which means so much to them-- we give grudgingly." -Mark Twain


 Spare Change:  Places to Send Charitable Contributions

AAUW Legal Advocacy Fund        Easter Seal Society
Mailstop 3800                               Pob 230219
1111 Sixteenth St. NW                 Grand Rapids, MI 49523-0319
Washington DC 20077-5761

Ally Cat Allies                                Equuis Sanctuary
Pob 397                                        Pob 3273
Mount Ranier MD 20712-0397     Glendale, CA 91221

American Humane Assoc.                      Farm Sanctuary
Pob 97232                                             Pob 150
Washington DC 20077-7011                 Watkins Glen NY

Amnesty International                   The Fund for Animals
Pob 96834                                    200 West 57th St
Washington DC 20090-6834        NY NY 10102-0670

Alzheimer's Assoc.                      The Gorilla Foundation
Pob 803638                                Pob 620-640
Chicago IL 60680-8984              Woodside CA 94062-9901

American Heart Assoc.               Gay, Lesbian, Straight
Michigan Affiliate                        Educators Network (GLSEN)
Pob 606                                      121 W. 27th St., Suite 804
Southfield MI 48037-0606           NY NY 10001

American Lung Assoc.               Humane Farming Assoc.
Pob 5095                                   1550 California St., Suite 6
Southfield MI 48086-5095          San Francisco, CA 94109-9807

American Foundation                 Astraea Foundation
for Aids Research                      116 E. 16th St., 7th Fl.
Pob 96635                                 NY NY 10003
Washington DC 20090-6635

Best Friends                               I-GLSS
Animal Sanctuary                       Pob 53036
Kanab UT 84741-5001              Washington DC 20009-3036

The Breast Cancer Fund            DELTA Rescue
282 2nd St., 2nd Fl.                    Pob 9
San Francisco CA 94105           Glendale CA 91209

International Fund for Animal Welfare
Pob 97105 Washington DC 20090-71-5
Drug Policy Foundation                                  International Primate
Pob 97248                                                      Protection League
Washington DC 20090-7248                          Pob 766
                                                                       Summerville (?) 29484

In the Life                      Physicians Committee for Responsible
30 W. 26th St.               Medicine
7th Floor                        Pob 96736
NY NY 10160-1831       Washington DC 20077-7541

League of Women Voters              Planned Parenthood of America
Pob 98050                                     Pob 96735
Washington DC 20077-7330        Washington DC 20077-7525

Naral                                           2nd Harvest Food Bank Donation
Pob 96875                                  National Processing Center
Washington DC 20077-7405      Pob 8929
                                                   Topeka KS 66608-8929

National Cancer Center               Senior Companion Program
Pob 8932                                     Gerontology Network
Topeka KS 66608-8932              516 Cherry SE
                                                    Grand Rapids MI 49503

National Humane Education Society
Pob 97139 Washington DC 20090-7139
National Organization for Women                      Sierra Club
Pob 96825                                                         Pob 52968
Washington DC 20090-7139                             Boulder CO 80321

The Nature Conservancy                                       North Shore Animal League
Pob 97157                                                              Pob 11649
Washington, DC 20077-7345                                 Des Moines IA 50340-1649
Peta Pob 96684 Washington DC 20077-7538


 The Best new Music Discovery of '98:

 The Sundays

The Secrets to a Happy Life..
1) Know what is truth for you.. find what you love & live for it..
2) Dedicate yourself to those who love you..
3) Find work that lets you be happy on your own terms..
4) Seek to know God & yourself.. God willing, one day you will find your soul mate..
5) This should be the correct order: a) Work.. b) a soul mate.. c) "home"
6) Give flowers to the women in your life.. give compliments to the men in your life..
7) Always pay the greatest respect to nature, the elderly & most of all, children..
8) Live your whole life as though your anscestors & your heirs are observing you..
9) Find your own secrets for a happy life.. & when you are old, despite your infirmity,
you will have joy in your heart's wisdom..

Are you a "Type-A" woman? Take the quiz..
1) Do you feel most alive when you first start dating a new man?
2) Have most of your relationships failed in the first few months?
3) Are your friends unimpressed even if you tell them that you've met the man of your dreams?
4) Do your men accuse YOU of being afraid to commit?
5) Do you break up with a man the moment you suspect he may be having 2nd thoughts about you?
6) Have you considered more than a couple of your boyfriends as "the one"?
7) Do you get bored as the relationship gets more serious?
8) Do men seem less & less perfect the longer you are dating them?
9) Are you seeing changing your men more often then you change your socks?
10) True or false: There's always a more perfect man than the one you're currently dating?
If at least half of these have been answered "yes" then you might seek out a relationship counselor.
The name of the syndrome is "3-month woman" syndrome"..

Lonely Traveler

Here are the results of calculations by the American astronomer Carl Sagan of Cornell University.
Let us assume that we board an imaginary starship of the future capable of traveling with an
acceleration of one gravity-- that is, the force exerted on us by the Earth's gravity.. Under these
conditions everything on board the ship would feel the same as on Earth. After about one year of
Earth time at such acceleration the ship would be traveling close to the speed of light.. The astro-
nauts would have aged only a few years by the time they reached our furthest stars, counting off
a mere 21 years by the time they reached the center of our Galaxy over 30,000 light years away.

Of course we must realize that the this form of time travel may be strictly one-way. Some scientists
contend that distance may be subject to the same shrinking effects of relativity as time-- reducing
a space jopurney to more manageable proportions-- but most believe that an astronaut who set out to
travel among the galaxies in his near-the-speed-of-light starship might never have a home to return
to, for the Earth and it's Sun may both have died by the time his wondering is over.

In our search for the key to time-travel, would this, then, be the sacrifice man would have to make?
In overcoming the greatest of all scientific obstacles, could our space explorer of the future become
an inter-glalactic Flying Dutchman, doomed for ever to wonder the stars as Earth aged & shriveled
behind him? Is it the kind of awesome prospect which would have halted the pen of H.G.Wells?

It has been an insidious revolution.. the domination of mankind by the computer..
Once, it was said, one would need a computer the size of New York to equal the
capacity of the human brain.. Afew years later, the size had reduced to that of the
Empire State Building.. Then a normal house.. then eventually no bigger that a
typewriter. The coming of transistors and micro transistors meant that you could
carry a computer in your pocket.. Soon you may need a microscope to actually see
one.. And the revolution will be complete.. The machine that can outstrip men's minds
will have become indespensible to civilized society..

If science, in the form of the "new science" of ecology, evolutionary
biology and quantum mechanics, is capable of reinserting humans
into Nature by enlarging the self to include the whole biosphere--
"the world is my body" (Alan Watts) -- then perhaps we have come
full circle. We began as primitives, relatively un-self-conscious and
inseparable from the ecosystem; we evolved into calculating,
rational beings, becoming more & more alienated from out real
home; we developed other-worldly religions to place us above
other life forms and dualistic reductionism science to ascribe mechanism
to all of nature.. but then we developed new forms of science that put us,
surprisingly but objectively, right back where we began and where we belong:
as earth animals..

*Last day at the L.A. rock and roll convention...
"After days of soul-searching and soul-selling of
deals & disappointments the music community is
ready to sleep off this year's convention until next
year.. when a new batch of bands and businessmen
will arrive to bite off another slice of the Rock&Roll
cash pie. My taxi arrives, driven by a rail-thin cabbie
who's look is part Willie Nelson & part Charles Manson..
On the way back to the airport, the conversation
somehow turns to his personal life. Years of alcoholism
had left him homeless, 'working' as one of those beggars
who sprouts up on freeway off-ramps like weeds.
Then he met a woman, fell in love & sobered up a
year ago, he landed his current job & moved into a
tiny apartment with his wife. 'I've lived in hell man,
under freeways & alleys that reeked of puke-- but now
I've got it all!' He stops at a red-light. 'A long time ago,
I realized that all a man needs to be happy is a fishin'
pole & a place to fish..'
The cabbie looks in the rearview mirror & smiles. 'I got
myself a pole.' The light turns green, and he accelerates
in a profoundly satisfied silence that, for one moment,
sounds louder than the rowdiest rock&roll music in the world."

Groovy Gifts for that Girl of Yours!
1) Nickelodeon "Floam"
cost: $5 for the bouncy goop w' styrofoam balls
intended message: you appreciate her silly, playful side
possible unintended message: you don't care enough to get her a real gift
what it says about you: you have dopey, endearing, Beck-like qualities
how her parents will take it: they assume you are just dating her for sex
after you've broken up: it's still fun to play with
2) Kitten
cost: free if you look around; under $50 from a shelter
intended message: a cuddly, living reminder of your love
possible unintended one: you want a lasting serious relationship
what is says about you: you are happy, playful, and not afraid of commitment
how her parents will take it: you're getting serious
after you've broken up: a constant, increasingly less cute reminder of what might have been

 More Quotables...

Capitalism & communism stand at opposite poles. Their essential
difference is this: The communist, seeing a rich man & his home says
"No man should have so much." The capitalist, seeing the same thing says:
"All men should have as much."
-Phelps Adams

A celebrity is someone who works hard all their life to become well known,
and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. -Fred Allen

A man can be no bigger than the number of people for whom he genuinely cares. -Sherm Williams

One can aquire everything in solitude-- except character. -Henri Beyle

When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends.

Character builds slowly, but it can be torn down with incredible swiftness. -Faith Baldwin

The best index to a persons character is how he treats those who can't do
him any good, and how he treats people who can't fight back. -Abilgail Van Buren

There's a difference between beauty & charm. A beautiful woman is one I notice.
A charming woman is one who notices me. -John Erskine

He who does not make a choice makes a choice.

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe
in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who
get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if cannot find them, make them.
-George Bernarnd Shaw

The only way to get across a serious message is through comedy. -Woody Harrelson

Tragedy plus time equals comedy. -Steve Allen

I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude. -Joseph Addison

Associate with men of good quality, if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better
to be alone then in bad company. -George Washington

12 Things to Remember:
1) The value of time
2) The success of perseverance
3) The pleasure of working
4)The dignity of simplicity
5) The worth of character
6)The power of kindness
7) The influence of example
8) The obligation of duty
9) The wisdom of economy
10) The virtue of patience
11) The improvement of talent
12) The joy of origination
-Marshall Field

Face the conflict. To run from it will be a continual race. -R.E. Phelps

We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people. -Aurthur Schopenhauer

Beware lest we mistake our prejudices with our convictions. -Harry A. Ironside

The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws. -Tacitus

Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered
by failure, than to take rank with those who poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much,
because they live in the grey twilight that knows not victory or defeat. -Theodore Roosevelt

The test of tolerance comes when we are in a majority; the test of courage comes when
we are in a minority. -Ralph W. Sockman

No matter how old you get, if you can keep the desire to be creative, you're keeping the inner-child alive.

In my experience, the best creative work is never done when one is unhappy. -Albert Einstein

Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making
mistakes and having fun. -Mary Lou Cook

Our species is the only creative species, and it has only one instrument, the individual
mind and spirit of man. Nothing was ever created by two men. There are no good
collaborations, whether in music, in art, in poetry, in mathematics or philosophy.
Once the miracle of creating has taken place, the group can build and extend it,
but the group never invents anything. The preciousness lies in the lonely mind of a man. -John Steinbeck

It is a badge of honor to accept valid criticism. -The Bible

To escape criticism-- do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. -Elbert Hubbard

Criticize by creating. -Michelangelo

If you get kicked from behind, it is because you are out in front. -R.E. Phelps

Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect. -Samuel Johnson

 Looks like somebody had a bad day. Still yet..

Tonight is the evening following the
day of mayhem on the grounds of a Colorado
school. All I could think of was how these
things occur & no-one can find a reason why.
I'LL TELL YOU WHY! Desensitization &
Alienation caused by the MEDIA! The MEDIA
claims to care.. "We care! We're reporting this!
We're concerned!" When is comes to the media
I DARE YOU to turn off the TV for a week..
You might be surprised how much better you
feel. In my line of work I find myself outside
the control of the media octopus. Believe me,
the benefits are astronomical!
If I could recommend one book to read, it
would be the book that changed my life &
they way I conduct myself in this modern
society from here on out:
The truth is I am immensely impressed that
big business & the corporations are allowing
the internet to pervade as it has. The internet
is the only other "great equalizer" besides
death alone!

Imagine this--
200 years ago indentured servants worked all
day just to make a few pennies that they would
take to the "company store" in order to buy
the bare necessities.. But after they acquired their
bread & water & few other scarce items they
would end up in dept to the "landowner" as
so to guarantee a lifetime of service to the man
who would have them think was granting them
a decent living.. Once upon a time, any peril
was tolerable to provide sustenance.. for a
chance at making "a living."
Today, we are off to the grind every morning.
A "necessary evil." Working 8 hours a day in
stifling or even dangerous & most often highly
stressful environments. Many counties in Europe
allow for shorter workdays or shorter work-weeks
& many have a policy that employees get 30 days
a year off with pay, usually to take holiday.
When your average American gets home at
night, he most commonly cites "television" as
his primary method of relaxation. The "money
people" had him/her slaving all day. Now the
money people are using this vehicle of
"relaxation" for purposes much more insidious
than he (or you!) thinks.
You would be surprised how many people
use the personifications/characterizations
portrayed on the television programs as a
basis for their own personality development.
And then there are THE COMMERCIALS.
The sooner you realize that ALL MEDIA IS
better off you will be. The television is not
going to tell you you are ugly or stupid.. not
in so many words.. but they are telling you
these things.. and so many more! Whatever
it takes to get you to buy those stupid products.

   It is a significant day. Adolf Hitler's birthday--the day
   two members of the so-called "trench-coat mafia"
   stormed through a sub-urban Denver high school
   causing more destruction, mayhem & chaos that has
   ever been seen in such an event; I got a call from
   my former employer asking me if I was ready to go
   out & tour with some odd music group or another..
   for the first time I was able to do what I had vowed
   to do for years-- turn him down. Read on...


1.) The RAPE of the Earth to mass market product that is
a CD & at least half of the songs suck you should be able to
take it back NO QUESTIONS ASKED!) There is no
reason that the horrendous "disposable" aspect of common
wealth need extend into the "arts"! (It's all about the MONEY!)
2.) The fostering of attitudes of negativity, greed & destruction
toward the public from the "fortunate elite" who are given
a free reign of terror on the consciousness of very impressionable
persons. Having been in the business I can tell you, you have
no idea how much it hurts to be unable to do anything about
a situation where young women are lured into the back rooms
of a back staging area to find them later in shock, horror &
disbelief at what has happened to them by the people they
once admired.  It kills part of your soul.

TRUE ARTISTS SHALL RESURFACE. Basically the "artists"
who have the best chance at refining their "act" well enough for
presentation are the ones who didn't need to worry about
survival because they had a wealthy parent, wealthy spouse or
some form of trust fund. And just because an "artist" makes
alot of money doesn't mean they are a viable commodity in
the music scene.
4.) The constant media imposed concept that unless you are a
physically attractive person you have no business on the stage.
Look at the music videos. Watch the awards shows. The music
corporations aren't taking any chances. They want physically
attractive persons to perform for them. If you don't have the greatest
physical image or positive self concept as expressed through their
on-stage delivery then they never make it.
5.) Putting all the rewards & praises in the laps of a few rather that
spread the wealth out among many. How often have you heard
the phrase "Support your local music scene"?
It's of vital importance to do this. It's good for the community,
the artist & the audience.
And that's all I have to say about that.. at least for right now!


"Be what you wish you were!"

My Own America

I remember a time in my life not so many years ago when
I had to make a difficult decision. I'd been working for some years in
a dead end job & yearned for something more. As of this point I still
didn't know what I wanted to do with my life but I knew I needed a change.
Ultimately my choices came down to driving truck and going into
some branch of the military. Well, if you got through the rest off
the zine pages to get here you know I did choose truck driving. Probably a
wise choice too, as I always did have a problem with authority, dealing in
close proximity of others and have always needed my comfort zone and
privacy. You have a problem with authority..
It's funny that in the 7 years that I have been on and off and back on the
road people really don't very often ask me about how I like the places
I've been to or what places I like best or such things.. Well, I'll tell you.. I've
had some of the best driving jobs and some of worst driving jobs in
the world. I've had some very "different" jobs and opportunities. But through
it all there were some places and experiences that stood out that will stay
with me for "the long haul."


California. When people think about adventure or travel they usually think,
"Go west young man." I think the state has captured the imaginations of more
people in America than any other when it comes to envisioning travel to
some dreamy place. I know that I was more excited upon my initial visit to
California than to any other state besides Florida. And in my years as a driver,
I likely have spent as much  time in California as any other states besides that
of my home state and, say, Illinois. Although different people have different
views about different parts of the state I can only relate my own.
Los Angeles is the (spatially) largest American city. You know that song from
the Chili Peppers? "Under the Bridge," well, that song, to me, is the perfect
ode to the city. It's captures the feel of my own experience there. Nice place
to visit, but for me, I wouldn't want to live there. For some reason San Francisco
has always been ucky to me. I don't like the place or any of the surrounding
cities. I've met some very scary people there. On the other hand, Sacramento,
which is less than a 2 hour drive away is pretty nice. Northern California holds
something dear to many people. It is said that if you have good fortune in L.A.
you can afford to retire in northern California. But the California that I feel most
closely connected to is rural California. Early on I spent alot of time with
migrant workers or Mexican transplants in rural communities south of San Jose
and in the mid-eastern portion of the state. There will always be that fondness
& feeling of connectedness to those poor but happy farm families, most of
who were Mexican. There was something pure and honorable about their way
of life. Something like I have seen no-where else. If you ever visit California I
recommend the following route.. I-5 from Oregon to the bay area. Then upon
continuing your trip south pause at Gilroy (south of San Jose) and take 152
east to Santa Nella @ I-5. This is a major produce route and the best time to
cross this section is in the late afternoon. There's something about the way
the sun's light plays upon the hills about this time of day. Then continue over
to highway 99. Continue south through Fresno and if you can manage to
spend some time in the towns just south of Fresno, that's great. At some
point you may choose to run part of the famous highway 101 between
San Luis Obispo and L.A. but continuing on the prescribed route I recommend
you travel on down 99 to Bakersfield and grab highway 58 toward Barstow.
Take a little time in both towns. You can head up to Las Vegas from here or
down to L.A. and continue down toward San Diego (a VERY beautiful
place but VERY expensive as well!) You'll find that certain rural element
that I mentioned appeals to me also in El Centro if you ever venture that way.
There is a humbling feeling as you continue east from Barstow through
the expansive desert that continues on for hundreds of miles. You feel the
magnitude of it all and that it has all been just as it is now.. for

Florida. I've been fascinated with this state longer than any other place.
Even as a child I always knew that one day I would spend some time there
and eventually I did. I sort of had premonitions about it. And they came true.
There's something about a place that has summertime 9 months out of the year.
It's very exotic. The best chance at visiting paradise without even having
to board a plane. Presumably. A couple of the most extreme experiences
I've ever had took place here. I think I am fortunate to have had them
and memories of my experiences there will stay with me forever. But
from hence forth I think I will continue on with my life's journey elsewhere.
Except one day I hope to visit the keys. In the year (or so) I lived in Tampa,
I hardly ventured out. I still do not know if Tampa is truly representative
of the whole of urban Florida but I can tell you this.. there is alot of money
in that town and as some have said, a lot of "death." I've learned that
Tampa is a scary place, even for a guy who previously lived for 6
months in Houston, Tx. I do not recommend living in any Florida city
outside of Pensacola or Tallahassee. Seems like many of the seedy elements
filtered down from the north & now have a more brazen summertime
attitude. Dangerous people are everywhere. Especially if you do not realize
what they are capable of until it is too late. But there are things I do recommend..
Traveling between Port Charlotte and Naples, and through the very rural
central Florida. There's nothing like stopping in at one of the few oasis spots
around south-central (swamp lands) late at night to recharge you batteries or fuel
& gather supplies before moving on. Also, I had some wonderful times
staying in the Super-8 in Clearwater, just a little ways from the public beach
where I have marveled at some unbelievable sunsets. This is also the only
body of water this size I have ever set foot in. The thin north western
section of Fl is more my speed. That whole area of Louisiana, Alabama,
Georgia, Mississippi and this section of Florida are very dear to me.
There is something about the old south. The mystique, the history and the
beauty of the lay of the land.. I think in another life I must have lived here.
Perhaps in the next life I might live there. Although Atlanta has it's problems,
the state of Georgia is one place that I love. If I had not been born in Missouri
I wish I could have been born in Georgia! Mississippi is the most mysterious
state I think with Alabama following close behind. That, for me, is their
primary appeal. Louisiana is interesting but too humid. I've had some
spiritual moments in south Louisiana. It was a week I spent in Hammond that
my life changed for the better. I remember for a long time I thought that one
day not far away I would live down there someplace. I carried a little
"swamp thing" guy around as a reminder. One night on the way out from the west
I talked to a fellow and told him of my wish. He commented, "Sounds like
you want to get yourself a shack in the swamp, whereas I'm gonna' build me a
cabin in the mountains up in Washington State!"
Washington State/Oregon. Why is it all my friends are moving to Portland?
Maybe because it has a reputation of being the US's "nicest city" or
because of the community involvement there or because its a big town but still
low-key. But I think a big reason why it is a more and more popular choice for
those seeking relocation is for the mere beauty of the lay of the land. If you
travel to Portland via I-84 you will find the most striking and diverse natural
scenes that you have ever thought you might witness in one place in the USA.
(To be continued.)

 In the news:

"They told me that Garland is Gods land, so I thought, 'Well, ok..
to each his own'." Bonnie Nichlols, Garland, TX, resident & neighbor
of Heng-Ming Chen, leader of 150 followers who moved from Taiwan
to Garland to await God's arrival in a flying saucer at the end of the month.

6 US soldiers who disappeared from their post in early July to pursue a
religious interest in UFOs have been fined & discharged as of July 27th.
The 6 were charged with desertion because of the top secret security
clearances they held.After an investigation, the army found that the
soldiers were involved in no type of espionage, and the charge was reduced
to absence without leave. The 6 were also charged with possessing
forged leave papers. According to the European edition of the "Stars &
Stripes", the 6 decided to go on a search for the Anti-Christ (who is
referred to in the Bible as a figure who comes to Earth to challenge the
2nd coming of Christ & spread Universal evil.
Media accounts describe the 6 soldiers as desiring to "help prepare for the
end of the world" & "rendezvous with Jesus & UFO's."
The 6 were said to be affiliated with a group called the "End of the World"
although military officials are unable to confirm this.
All 6 cryptologists were said to have received their training in the Navy's
Corry Station in Pensacola, FL.
Before they were arrested the 6 were found staying with a woman one
of the soldiers previously new in Pensacola. The area is said to have
been a location of numerous UFO sightings & host to a recent symposium for UFO studies.
The soldiers, 5 men & one woman, were reported missing from Augsburg
July 9. They were members of the 701st Military Intelligence Brigade in
Augsburg & were arrested in Gulf Breeze, Fl between July 14th & 15th.

"He has such a tremendous personality that I think the ladies just go
wild over him." Evangelist Billy Graham, commenting in an NBC interview
on Clinton's alleged sexual misconduct.

drawn by Billy Spicer

Global Warming!

I don't know what all the fuss is about. If worst-case scenarios come
into play then, yes, there will be some changes. However not everything
will be a disaster as doomsayers would have us believe.
The mean world temperature will increase by about 10 degrees. Some places
will be a little cooler, most places substantially warmer. But most of the
human race would like it to be a little warmer, especially old-folks who aren't as
sprightly as they used to be.
The grain belt will move from the US into Canada & Siberia on the other
side of the world. Growing seasons & crops will change. Some smart genetic
engineers will develop crops that will grow in warmer climates, so why worry?
The polar ice-caps will melt & cities will drown. But who really needs places
like New York, Los Angeles or Miami? The world will probably be alot better
off without them.
Scientists theorize that a warmer climate will cause more sever storms.
This usually mean less stagnant & cleaner air. Besides now that it's warmer there
won't be so much ice & snow & all the hassles that go with it.
If things actually change that much, it wont be for about another century. And
if need be & we see it as a problem, we can take steps to correct it at
that time time.

  Once, when I was a little kid, I'd sit on the back porch & wonder what I
would be when I grew up.. When you're small the whole world seems
so big.. & truth is, your whole life is ahead of you & the possibilities are
endless & the whole planet is your oyster.. I think I developed a certain
philosophy & tendency toward solitude growing up out in rural Missouri
with no other kids around or many adults either.. The only difference between
then and now is then I talked alot to God.. and I still do.
  And now that I'm adult what do I dream of? What do I anticipate for my
future? I think that has alot to do with the fure in general. As for me?
Well, to be honest.. a quiet place out there where there's few people,
lots of open spaces & always room to grow..

But now for something totally different...
"John's DATE from HELL!"
   You could count the # of dates I have been on (up till I wrote this) in my
life on both of Mickey Mouse's hands. You could count the # of gals I've been
out with on one of those hands. Even the word "date" gives me the willies.
Let me give you a partial example of why I am extremely leery of "dating."
   Okay, Sometime in the Spring of '98 a so-called friend of mine introduced me
to a "casual" girl-friend of his (whatever that meant). She seemed really cool
& sassy & had a great sense of humor thought I.. then one day she invited
me to go to Tulsa to hang out with her for a day (& maybe night?!) It was about
a 3 hour trip to get there, maybe 3 &1/2. It was raining really bad all the way there.
I didn't have as much trouble finding her place as I thought I would. When I arrived
I went upstairs in her building ti her apartment. It was REALLY clean & kinda
nice. The building was REALLY old & had that cool old-building feel to it.
Anyway, she thought we should go straight away to the coffee house across the
street. Oddly, two of her male "friends" were there writing & reproducing
some "anarchist" literature about how the working class should rise up & smash
"the man" or something. Then a 3rd guy showed up who acted REALLY
weird to me. I was to find out later this was one of the local guys that this girl
(let's call her Nanette) was seeing. Ouch!
   Okay, so we go back to her place for a few minutes then she wants to
go see some hillbilly band at a local pub. When we get there it's impossible
not to have a terribly weird feeling. I've been across the world & back &
"partied" with the best of them all over the US & Canada. This was the most
odd feeling I've ever gotten from a public establishment. Okay.. as soon as
we get there she introduces me to a friend of hers who is sitting next to this
7 foot tall Russian guy.. Igor or something was his name. This guy is strange
& wants me to sit right next to him the whole time. He is dressed like a
square & is much older than anyone else in the room. His English is really
hard to understand. He seemingly thinks I am goofin' on him at times & says
something to the effect of "I, big guy. No fuck with me." It gets weirder &
weirder. He tells me the best way he knows how that he runs a prostitution ring
& can get me "whatever I want". So, I'm so freaked out I jump up & bolt
for the door. Nanette (Nan) is there, outside with me pretty quick. I
explain what is going on & she says that it's cool, she'll say good-bye to her
friends & we'll go somewhere else.
   Then we're off again in her car. We get no more than a mile when we are
in "downtown" Tulsa & all the sudden out of no-where there is concrete slab in
the middle of the street (perhaps placed there by the earlier mentioned
"anarchists?") She tries to steer & miss it but hits it with her right front tire
& destroys her tire & wheel. We push her car into a parking space & wonder down
the street to another bar close by where she can "call for a ride". When we get there
she's understandably bitchy & asks me to get her a beer. When I come back
with her beer she's hanging onto 2 two black guys. I guess they were friends of hers.
She was seemingly now more interested in them than she is me (or was she just
desperately trying to get us a ride home?) So, she finally sees a female friend
of hers that reluctantly agrees to give us a ride to Nan's house but they decided
along the way, in between their obvious feminist banter, that they want
to go to another bar.
   We get this other bar. The other girl takes off down the road. Before
we go inside the bouncer is hassling her about her not having an ID. Evidently
she loaned it to a another (underage) girl who had it taken away from her a
few night previous. Well, we get in. Then we end up at a table with some
fiendishly overweight vampire looking guy, a classy looking goth chick who is
quick to shake my hand & smile & this wrestler looking guy who also when
introduced does not even acknowledge me (I was to learn later he is another one
of her steady "lovers".) I get off to the rest room & upon returning stop short of
their table & sit at a tiny "single seater" a few feet behind them. At this place
everyone's view is on the stage where, oddly enough, another rockibilly band is
playing. It's like pretty soon when a bouncer asks if I'm with "the lady". I look to
see that one bouncer is escorting her forcefully to the door. I say "yes" & I'm on
my way out too. Outside in the rain I was to learn that she made a deal with the
bouncer on the way in that she could come in if she didn't drink. All she could
say for herself was.. "Fuck, man.. I just wanted a beer." I could say nothing.
So, the wrestler dude finally came outside and decided to give us a ride back to her
place. When we got there I told her I had to leave & she broke down crying &
begged me not to leave. I said, ok, I'd stay. She said she needed to go get her car
fixed & wrestler dude had some tools. I sat on the couch & passed out. I woke
up about an hour later when she stopped in & said she got her car going but now
she & wrestler dude where going to go party with her friends & she'd be back in a
few. As soon as she left I decided I was outta there. Only problem was I couldn't find
my keys. I rifled through the place trying to find my car keys to no avail. I was
sure she had gotten them & hid them so I couldn't leave. I was peeved but was
exhausted too. I passed out.
   Some time later I woke up with the sun shining on my face & a sparkle shown
from between the couch cushions. My keys had slipped outta my pocket & into the
crevice of the couch. It was about 9 am. I was manic as hell. I grabbed the keys
& bolted outside, into my car & was history. I never saw her again although she
did call me later that day apologizing for being a "lousy friend."

   Some months later I was driving through Oklahoma & was cruising through
the radio dial trying to find something worth listening to. I thought I heard a
program with Bob Larson, the "Gerry Springer" of Christian radio talk show
hosts, but it was a local Christian call in program. It was funny that it was the
hosts voice I paid notice to at first but then I couldn't help but notice the "in"
caller. Something familiar with that voice. It turned out to be NAN! Breaking
down on the air on this program about her father being ill & her finding out she
has a brain disorder that renders her hyperactive & incapable of making rational
decisions. I had my handy-dandy micro-cassette
recorder & captured the conclusion of this program for posterity sakes.
But don't think ill of me, I actually tried to call the radio station right then & the
following day to see if there was some way I could help as I'd lost her number
long before. But to no avail. That's how it goes.
Now, all that said maybe I'll tell you sometime how I almost got myself & two
voluptuous sisters killed driving through the Ozarks backwoods at ridiculous speeds
during the harmonic convergence when I was supposed to be taking them to a movie.
Then again, maybe I better not.

Fault & Fantasy

People too often let fantasy interfere with everyday life.
If they were to realize the reality of an idealized situation
then they most likely will would from henceforth refrain
from fantasizing about this obsession.
People generally give to much thought to the the notions
of ideal situations & too little to the works made, to
realizations of realistic goal & immediate undertakings.
They generally give too little credit to themselves & too much
to those full of chaotic energy who are aggressive enough to
rally others around him/her for selfish purposes.
If we can focus on this matter we can work to correct it in
our own lives.

"Do not loan money to a friend. You'll lose one or the other or both!"


In the course of one brief generation we have reversed centuries of
class division. Pale, week, postulant flesh was once the banner of Brahmin.
After all, anyone could get a deep, rich tan, rippling biceps & a flat stomach
all by slaving away under the whip all day on a diet of gruel. There's a certain
logic missing from  today's multi-billion dollar fitness industry. Old-folk
wisdom held that you lifted a weight because it needed to be moved somewhere.
You climbed stairs to get to the top of something & you ran to avoid getting
caught. The new rule states that calories are best expended if it costs money
to do so & it accomplishes nothing more. You should see the looks on my
friends' faces when I propose the concept of walking as a means of transportation.
And why, when given a chance for a free mid-day work out, don't these corporate gym
lizards jump at the chance to help the stock boy unload a new shipment of xerox paper?!
Quite simply because Americans love to embrace PROCESS. Even P.T.
Barnum couldn't have envisioned selling sweat & pain to the largest leisure class
in the entire history of the world...


Speak, so that I may see you. Socrates
Give a man a mask & he will tell the truth. Oscar Wilde
One must be a work of art, or wear a work of art. Oscar Wilde
The unconscious self is the true genius. You breathing goes wrong as soon as
your conscious self meddles with it. G.B. Shaw, Ibid
What is the pleasure in taking the Concorde if it is only to return in the same
instant, or in the few hours that follow to the point of departure? There's a
mystery in that. A riddle of displacement that fascinates me. I think it's a desire
for a form of inertia, ubiquity, instantaneousness-- a will to reduce the world to
a single place, a single identity. Virilio/Lotringer, Ibid
The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom for we never know what is
enough to we learn what is more than enough. William Blake
History then, has always been written by the conqueror while the majority has
traditionally remained silent. This is still largely the case. It is the civilized upper
classes who, conceiving their positions as determined by God, talent or technology,
create the facts of history & the deterministic theories which justify both the
facts and their own pre-eminence. Stanly Diamond, Ibid

The main thing to remember is never to be shy with a woman no matter how attractive she is.


     There are but two objects in marriage, love & money. If you marry,
marry for love-- you will have many happy days & some uneasy ones. If you marry
for money you will have no happy days if also no
uneasy ones. Lord Chesterfield
      If intelligence were taken out of my life it would be more or less reduced.
If I had no-one to love, it would be ruined. Henry de Montheran
       The art of love? It's knowing how to join the temperament of a vampire
with the discretion of an anemone. E.M. Cioran
      We don't love qualities. We love a person, sometimes by reason of their
defects as well as their qualities. Jaques Matinan
       Love is the wisdom of the fool & the folly of the wise. Samuel Johnson
       All great lovers are articulate. And verbal seduction is the surest road to
actual seduction. Marya Mannes
        Love must be learned & learned again. There is no end to it. Hate needs no
instruction but wants only to be provoked. Katherine Anne Porter
This being in love is great. You get a bunch of compliments and begin to believe
you are a great guy. F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Crack Up
       Only God, my dear, could love you for yourself alone & not the color
of your yellow hair.
William Butler Yeats

        Every love is the love before, but in a duller dress. Dorothy Parker, Summery

        Once upon a time there was this dude named God. Now, God was very
mischivieous as a child. Often as a prank He would up & mutate some malignant
disease just to spite His parents & the authorities.
        Well, God grew up & got a job like everyone else but He still had His
tendency for mischief. And since God had a good job, He could afford to spend
money on his eccentric hobbies. So He decided to do just that!
         So He up & got a brand new continuum creator. After carefully reading the
directions God set it up in his backyard & created the toilet bowl. He laughed for
hours at his achievement. A couple of days later He got tired of it just sitting there
& He decided to put things in it. So He created the Heavens & the Earth. Then
He created man. He figured this last step was probably where things went wrong,
because the whole thing started to smell really bad.
         But a few days later He looked inside & realized that His man-mistake
was bigger than he thought. This caused Him to laugh even more, because
all by himself man created laws & governments & religions.
         The smell from all this was becoming pretty overwhelming & God's neighbors
were about ready to call the cops & put a stop to it...

I wrote the this to my brother when I was 19 years old:
"Remember there's a difference between what you see portrayed in the music
scene & what REALLY is there. The artists who end up conducting their
lives according to the extravagant excesses and restless escapism disguised as
indulgence tend to meet either head on with imminent reality & recover from
the tragedies of their self-denial & or just self-destuct. The misconceptions are
probably why the vast number of the young people, filled with chaotic energy &
feelings of hopelessness deep inside conduct their lives in such a way as to
emulate their skewed perceptions via enduring escapism within a continued quest
for stimulation."

I Wont Be In Today!
Calling in sick: the most shameful & shameful indulgence that ranks right
under workplace adultery & paper clip theft in corporate America's high list
of no-nos happens to rank 2nd favorite pastime among your rightfully lazy &
cynical workers. I don't blame them-- I'd rather be an indolent liar at home
pretending to be sick than an indolent liar pretending to be happy at work..
although I'd take workplace adultery over both any day.
Calling in sick offers one the oft-overlooked chance to brush up on other useful
mechanisms such as the flair for persuasion.. here's an example:
"Hello, boss? I won't be in to work today as I've a acquired an acute case of
cynicism & bitterness. See, I momentarily detest work & all things associated,
including you. I'll be back in tomorrow when hopefully I'll be a brainwashed
drone again. If not, expect a bombing or perhaps a light shooting spree.
Give my regards to the other slaves.. I mean, WORKERS.. Thanks, bye!"

 Comparative Analysis of the Worlds Religious Philosophies
Taoism: Shit Happens
Confucianism: Confucius say "Shit Happens"
Buddhism: If Shit Happens, It Isn't Really Shit
Zen: What is the sound of SHit Happening?
Hidduism: This Shit Happened Before!
Islam: If Shit Happens, it is The Will of ALLAH
Protestant: Let Shit Happen to Someone Else
Catholic: If Shit Happens, You Deserve It!
Judaism: Why does this Shit always Happen to US!?!
Jehova's Witnesses: Let us in & we'll tell you why Shit Happens
Hare Krishna: SHit Happens Shit Happens Shit Happens
Pagan: Shit is part of the Goddess too
Scientology: Feces Occurs
Existentialism: Everything is Shit so lets get depressed
Nihilism: Everything is Shit so let's Blow it all Up
Agnosticism: What is this Shit?
Atheism: I don't believe this Shit!
New Age: For $300 I can help you attain Shit Happens Awareness!

Living with memories of yesterday, watching the hopes of tomorrow
disappear into a not yet discovered universe of possibility...
So, ignoring today the loneliness of me is closing the eyes of my
heart for another hopeless night full of unreal dreams...
So the wanted love is covered by the dust of the creature's lies...
Whispers of the dark create ungodly thoughts, fragrance of emptiness
takes my soul to the castle of emotional thunderstorms...
Where I wake up to close the eyes of my mind for another worthless
day... Now the madness of my body given to me, by the
minds of the others took control, leaving me with the painful rain of
destroyed chances, which mixed with the hatred make my
cold world spin around until I close my eyes for another hopeless
night so I can play a game with my emotions again..               -Aga '94

"In modern society, the opposite of courage is not cowardice; but conformity."
-Rollo May
"Vanity is a powerful source of satisfaction for fools. It permits them to
substitute for qualities they will never have, the conviction of always having had them."
"Those who's ideals are strong & who's needs are meager will always triumph over
those who's needs are great & who's ideals are mediocre. To destroy the ideal of
an individual, a class or a people is to take away all that made for cohesion, greatness & motivation for action."
"If your self esteem rests upon social validation, then you have not self esteem,
but a more sophisticated form of social conformity." -Rollo May
"Never make fun of race, politics, religion or mothers."  Mack Sennett
"If you can dream it you can do it." Walt Disney
"The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused." Shirley Maclaine
"When someone does something good, applaud... you'll make two people happy!" Samuel Goldwyn
"Tough times never last but tough people do." Robert Shuller
"Problems are only opportunities in work clothes." Henry J. Kaiser
"Never look at what you have lost.. look at what you have left." Robert Shuller
"I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back." Zsa Zsa Gabor
"There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it." Alfred Hitchcock
"I''ve never been poor, only broke. Being poor is a frame of mind, being broke is only
temporary situation." Mike Todd
"If the will remains in protest, it remains dependent upon that which it is protesting against.." Rollo May
"Courage is fear holding on a minute longer." George S. Patton
"Success is never final, failure never fatal. It's courage that counts." John Wooden
"You are not the physical or psychological slave of your parents, husband, wife, child, boss,
the economy or anything else,
unless you choose to be." William Glassier
"No person who is enthusiastic about his work has anything to fear in life." Samuel Goldwyn
"One's trek through life is limited only by oneself & one's willingness to work." Ginger Rogers
"A person is not old until regrets take the place of dreams." John Barrymoore
"Life does not have to be perfect to be perfectly wonderful." Annette Funicello
"It's amazing how much can be accomplished if no-one cares who gets the credit." John Wooden
"The road to easy street goes through the sewer." John Madden
"The finest steel has to go through the hottest fire." Richard Nixon
"Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength." Eric Hoffer
"The less secure a man is, the more likely he is to have extreme prejudice." Clint Eastwood"
"Be more concerned about your character than your reputation. Your reputation is merely
what people think you are, while your character is what you really are." John Wooden
"The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness." Eric Hoffer
"Happiness is not a question of having or not having problems." Robert Shuller
"As long as I can work, I'm happy." Lucille Ball
"Misery is a bad choice." William Glassier
"There can be no real freedom without the freedom to fail." Eric Hoffer
"I thought he was the sexiest man I'd ever seen in my life, so it started on lust." Nicole
Kidman (on Tom Cruise)
"Intelligence reeks of dumbfoundedness."
"No-one is better than you unless you let them think so."
"Strive for perfection. You will never reach it,  but the bounds you make in the process
will be astonishing!" Count Zee
"A mate is the way in which you wish to perceive yourself." Mario Widener
"The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas."
"It's unfulfilled dreams that you keep alive." Robert Shuller
"Either you sacrifice for the future or you steal from it." Jerry Brown
"If everyone is thinking alike, then someone's not thinking." George S. Patton
"Government exists to protect us from each other. We can't afford the government it
takes to protect us from ourselves." Ronald Wilson Reagan
"A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove you don't need it." Bob Hope
"Education is the ability to be able to listen to anything without losing your temper or
self-confidence." Robert Frost
"I don't want any 'yes-men' around me. I want everyone to tell the truth, even if it costs
them their jobs." Samuel Goldwyn
"I am always disturbed to see a cigarette between the lips of a person upon whose
intelligence & judgment it is that in some part the fate of the world depends."
"I'm not usually one who goes for fashion models. The main thing to me is if the woman
is nice. Not greeting card nice, but I
need to know if she's a square player. And no facial tattoos." Chris Issak
"There's alot of money to be made on Wall Street, but if you want real power, go to
Washington. If you want sex, go into the fashion business. But if you want the whole
poison cocktail in one glass stirred with a swizzle stick of  'Hey, we're doing some-
thing creative...' then go to Hollywood." Alec Baldwin
"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the Universe is that it has never
tried to contact us." Bill Watterson "Calvin
& Hobbes"
"Only two things are infinite, the Universe & human stupidity, & I'm not so sure about
the former." Albert Einstein
"If something comes alive in others because of you, you have made an approach toward
immortality." Alfred Cousins
"He is rich who knows he has enough." from a fortune cookie


"Love is patient & kind, love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant
or rude. Love does not insist on
it's own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice at wrong,
but it rejoices in the right. Love
bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends...so faith, hope,
love, abide the three, but the greatest of these is love."
1st Corinthians 13: 4-8, 13

"Among those I dislike I can find no common denominator. Among those I love,
I find that they can all
make me laugh." WH Auden

"No one ever loved someone the way everyone wants to be loved." Mignon
McLaughlin The Nuerotic's Notebook

"I learned the true meaning of love. Love is absolute is loyalty. People fade,
looks fade, but loyalty never fades. You can so depend on certain people that
you can set your watch by them. And that's love, even if it doesn't seem
very exciting." Sylvester Stallone

"At the top of the list of what makes a successful marriage? I think it's a
sense of humor." Deborah Kerr

"Free love is sometimes love but never freedom."
Elizabeth Bibesco Haven

"Nothing is potent against love. Save impotence."
Samuel Butler

"Men who don't lie to women can't get wives."
Red Green

"It is not love, but the lack of love that is blind."
G. Wescott

"Hearts are not had as a gift but hearts are earned."
WB Yeats

"It is better than to loved and lost then never to have loved at all."
Samuel Butler In Memoriam

"To love & win is the best thing. To love & lose the next best thing."
William Makepeace Thackeray

"Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward
together in the same direction."
Antoine de' Saint-Exupery

"A youth with his first cigar makes himself sick. A youth with his first
girl makes everybody sick." Mary Wilson Little

"Many who have spent a lifetime in love can tell us less about it that a child
who lost a dog yesterday."
Thorton Wilder

"Love is always open arms. If you close your arms about love, you will find
that you are left holding only yourself."

"Brothers, I entreat you, remain faithful to the earth; place no face in those
who speak to you hopes of supra-terrestrial hopes. They are condemners of
life, moribund & poisoned themselves. Remain faithful to the earth with all
the force of your virtue. Let your generous love and your knowledge serve
the meaningof the earth." Neitzsche

"I deny that there are beautiful colors & ugly colors; beautiful shapes and
others that are not. I am convinced that any object, any place without distinction
can become a key of enchantment for the mind

High Weirdness!
Minnie Clyde Winston, age 77, stepped out of the shower in south-west
Atlanta, in September 1987,to find the floor oozing with blood "like a
water sprinkler." There was also blood in most rooms in the house. She and her
husband had lived in the six bedroom house for 22 years. The couple had no
pets or rodents in the house & an investigation concluded that the blood was
human-- type "O", while Mrs. Winston & her husband were both type "A"!
In October 1988, the British Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology reported
that a 15 year old girl in Lesotho, in southern Africa, who had been born without
a vagina had given birth to a son (presumably through c-section.) Story is that
immediately after she had given fellatio to her new boyfriend, an old beau
broke in & stabbed her repeatedly. One of the wounds pierced her stomach,
allowing sperm to seep into her fallopian tubes, thus allowing conception. A new
take on the "virgin birth."
In April 1982, officials in Holland inspected a warren of concrete bomb shelters
belonging to one 72 year old John Roeleveld, to find over 25,000 preserved &
stuffed animals & birds. Many, protected species.
Many had been stuffed by Roeleveld himself, who claimed that 40 years
earlier that God told him to collect & mount 2 of every species in preparation
for the end of the world, which was imminent.
Abraham Lincoln's eldest son, Robert Todd Lincoln, had the unfortunate luck
to witness the deaths of 3
presidential assassinations. That of his father on April 14 1865; President
Garfield in 1881 & that of McKinley some 20 years later. He might have not
live to witness these tragedies had he not narrowly escaped a tragic demise in his
own youth, where while standing on a crowded railroad platform slipped & fell
upon the tracks, but was fortunately pulled to safety in the nick of time by one
Edwin Booth-- brother of John Wilkes Booth!
George was a 19 year old Canadian who suffered from the compulsions to
wash his hands 50 to one hundred times a day, take 4-hour showers & constantly
check to see that all the windows & doors were locked in the house. In 1983,
after being taunted by his mother, he attempted suicide by putting the barrel
of a gun in his mouth. The gun went off. But by chance, doctors found that
in doing so that he had performed a precise, self-inflicted left-frontal
lobotomy, therefore almost illuminating his bizarre neurotic habits. Most of
the .22 caliber slug was recovered & the man's IQ was found to be unaffected.
The case was documented in several scientific journals & served as a daily
"rest of the story" on Paul Harvey's radio commentary.

*I don't know where this came from but it's pretty funny!
That's why I do it- you think I need an electric razor from Target?!
Everyone knows thieves grow their beards out and shaving's much
more enjoyable with a straight-razor anyway. Plus you can't hold hero,
wannabee rent-a-cops at bay with a Norelco anyway! Are you stupid
or something?! Somehow it just aint as threatening as a good old-fashioned
razor! Once, though, I did hold off two security guards with a lady epilator.
Those crusty geezers were shakin' in their boots! And I know those leg
hairs were standing on end under those ugly polyester slacks of theirs.
And I didn't even have the thing plugged in! But the dumb bastards didn't
even notice that I wasn't even stealing the thing- didn't even notice I had
the receipt in my right hand! It was a gift for my wife- so what if she has
hairy legs, you pokin' fun!? I guess those security guards must have seen
me tuck away that diamond necklace in the jewelry department.. well,
I got away with the necklace but it turned out to be a cubic zirconium.
That's like hitting a load of tin foil when you're hoping for silver. My
wife wasn't too happy either. I mean, I'm a thief for Chrissakes, not a
jewelry appraiser! You pokin' fun?!
But I don't need to steal. I see it more as a form of recreation than a job.
In fact, when I'm not stealing to pay the bills, I steal for fun! That's right!
Some days I get the kids together and we'll go to the store and we'll all steal
things and then we'll go and put them back. I told you I don't need it! But
let's see you try that at work you sniveling squeeky-clean day-jobber!
And even if you could, you wouldn't have the guts!
Speaking of guts, I stole some once.. yup from a grocery store. I won't
tell you which grocery sore though. It might give you some cheap thrill,
you pervert! I walked right past the cashier pretending that a shrink-wrapped
package of guts was an ugly baby of mine. I kept making cooing noises at
it and the cashier smiled as if to say, "ah, how cute.." Dumb cashier. She
must have some awfully ugly and smelly kids to fall for that racket. You're
probably one of them. She probably gives the wrong change all the time too.
People are so dumb.

*One more while were at it....
Ever stop & think about LIABILITY? That's when the law says if you
screw up YOU gotta pay!
And even if you don't screw up, ya STILL gotta pay!
It's all one big scam really.. first there all that legislation that states
that you are fully responsible
no matter who is morally wrong. Especially if something is yours.
Your house. Your car. Or the service you provide, if you provide one.
Like the farmer who sued a ladder company because they didn't tell him
not to set up the ladder on frozen horse-shit. Or the New York woman
who sued her doctor for delivering a damaged baby, as if everyone can
always expect a perfect one-- for 10 million dollars!
Then there's insurance companies.. an entire industry set up to profit
from other peoples mistakes.
In fact there are laws in effect that state that you MUST have it, in the
case that you cannot pay for your mistakes!
And lawyers! ICK! There are even TV commercials set up for these
shysters in order to put the squeeze on someone in order to get as much
money out of them as possible! Many times they do too! Otherwise they
wouldn't claim "No fee if we do not win your case!"
In case of injury there's the medical profession to dip in as well..
Doctors run up bills because they know insurance companies will foot the
bill and won't have to worry about collecting.
It all seems like a big mess where a whole bunch of people can get paid
by sitting on their asses doing nothing while nearly every one else foots the bill!
-JC Coleman Embassy of Planet Claire

Johnno's 16 Laws of Life

16) What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
15) If you cannot find an answer-- "I don't know"
usually means.. "I don't," "NO!"
14) Your brain has enough "hard-drive" space for 10,000
lifetimes. This is encouraging to know sometimes.
13) Every 7 years your body rejuvenates itself down to
replacing every last cell in your body.
12) You are old only when regrets take the place of dreams.
11) A person must have your permission before they can demean you.
10) "Be true to thine self & to thine own heart." (something like that)
9) Anything is worthwhile if it creates a beautiful memory.
8) "Let no man undermine you by making you hate him."
7) In life, a man need only fear his own ignorance."
6) Strive for perfection in all you do. You will never reach perfection,
but what you achieve in the attempt shall be astonishing!
5) People won't mess/screw with you if you don't have something
going for you.
4) It's not what you achieve in life but what you overcome.
3) If on life's path you realize that you have nothing to live for and
nothing to lose will you truly start living!
2) One should live for the sake of curiosity if for nothing else.
1) It only takes one minute's idle time worth of gas to restart your car.

"Holy Hustling"
Sex-for-hire as a spiritual path

I think Baby Geoffrey did it. I mean, after Baby Geoffrey I knew for sure.
This is what happened...
It's Sunday afternoon and I'm standing in a hotel hallway, knocking
on this door. A voice says "come on in" and it's not locked so I go in.
A man is sitting on the bed, resting his back against the headboard.
He looks about 40. He's a big man-six foot two maybe, 200 pounds.
He's wearing white cotton diapers & a cute little shirt with fire trucks
all over it. The safety pins on the diapers have yellow plastic duck
heads on them. There is an economy sized can of Johnson's baby
powder on the bedside table. The man smiles at me & says "Baby
Geoffrey glad to see Daddy!" I want you to know I didn't miss a
beat. I just said, "And Daddy's really glad to see Baby Geoffrey too!"
I didn't giggle until I left that room, 40 minutes later and 60 bucks
richer. I didn't giggle because I know Baby Geoffrey didn't want to
be laughed at. He'd called me because he'd wanted his diaper
changed and his hiney oiled and he wanted Daddy to tell him about
how we were going shopping & how strict Daddy would be if Geoffrey
cried and the nice things Daddy would do if Geoffrey was a good boy.
Geoffrey was a good boy. So Daddy oiled more than Geoffrey's hiney.
I didn't laugh at Geoffrey & I think that's when I knew I couldn't
pretend anymore that I was just dabbling in this for a few extra bucks.
Fact is, I had become a prostitute. A whore. I had-I have-sex with men
for money.
I am not 16 years old fresh off the bus, working the streets, jobless,
hating myself and my johns, seeking oblivion in drugs. I am not, on
the other hand, a sculpted well hung muscular hunk who spends half
the day at the gym & the other half thumbing through magazines,
waiting for the phone to ring.
And because I know you're wondering: I'm not getting rich at this. And
I have yet to do it with a Supreme Court judge.
This is what I am: 49 years old, with a plain face. I have a better body
than most 49 year olds. It's quite hairy-a big turn-on for many men-
though I shave my shoulders, back and privates in the belief that the
overall look is more pleasing. I know how to make men feel comfortable
from the moment they arrive. I take pride in my work. I try to do a good
job. I'm also a frequently published journalist who has won two
Canadian National Magazine Awards.
I feel part of an unrecognized social phenomenon: whores with
attitude, men and women who choose this profession, who have
perfected that most ingratiating of personality traits-shamelessness.
It is shamelessness un-tarnished by insolence, by the bravado of
those who suspect they are in fact quite as trashy as everyone thinks
they are.
Enough about me. A bit about you. You're fascinated by us. You see
us on the streets at night, wide awake, authoritative, lithe. You imagine
we know everything there is to know about the darkness & the city.
You've been to the movies so you know that our lives are a little
empty, a little sad, a little loveless. We have hearts of gold sometimes-
you know that too.
Perhaps what you don't know is that your marriages depend on us.
Or that the proper business of any prostitute is to become a saint.
I sold my body for the first time at 5 o'clock in the afternoon on
August 29, 1987. I did it for the most mundane of reasons. I was
out of work & broke. The choice did not seem to me to be the
first step in a downward spiral of degradation. It seemed not much
different from selling my editorial skills. I had just never thought that
anyone would pay good money to have sex with me. Someone in
the industry just told me to take whatever I had-my muscles, my
hairy back, my age & use them to my benefit in the trade, as not
all johns are attracted to young guys.
The phone rings. Six out of ten times the caller will turn out to be
a married man. If he is new to this he will book a massage & tell
me how some part of his body is aching. I make sympathetic
noises & we settle on a time. The charge is $50 for an in-call or
$60 if we go out. If he's not so new he'll ask for a description.
I'm reasonably accurate, though I subtract 10 years from my
age and add 10 pounds to my weight. If he's going to hang up
on me (and many do) this is when is happens. If all works out
we set a time. I might add that I have a $30 student/senior rate.
Many have asked for-and paid-the student rate. No-one has ever
asked for the senior. I never (except with regulars) book more than
an hour or two in advance. The no-show rate decreases with my
system. 3 out of 4 do arrive. And usually right on time.
I find dazzling, almost humbling is the spectacle of human need: the
extent, power, range of it. Need is the seething presence beneath
the polite functions of everyday lives. If it were a force field, the
city would glow at night. On nights like this I am tracking the
current of human need, a current visible only to me and other
whores, a current that will draw me to Baby Geoffrey, or to the
17-year old high school student who hasn't figured out another
way of meeting people, or to the Italian grandfather who's finally
getting what he wants, or to the man who does nothing but tickle
my feet and tape-record my laughter.
There are needs so ordinary they can be satisfied simply by an
orgasm in the presence of another warm, receptive body. There
are occasional calls from women, the endless needs of married
men, the straight men who want to be on the bottom once in
their lives.
And there is always, always the need for my shamelessness.
The best marriages ought to be shameless too-sunny and
clear-eyed in the face of infidelities and sexual extravagance.
Many are not. Many go to whores to save their marriages and, on
the whole, I think that is a service we provide. Our shamelessness
acknowledges, welcomes needs. And we have no needs of our own.
That is because the proper business of any prostitute is to become
a saint.
I don't mean piety here. I mean when I was growing up what really
impressed me was that the saints had their needs so tamed, so
managed-though they usually chose a life of denial as a way of
making it happen. I've found that a life of excess works equally well.
Also, something changes after you've had sex with hundreds of men.
You find there isn't much difference between having sex with someone
you find very attractive & someone you think is ugly. This is a
revelation, especially in a society as image-obsessed as ours. When it
starts to happen, it means you are witnessing the slow erosion of the
power of need. Need is always an engagement with a particular-a
certain body type, the way the hair fall across the forehead, the
fullness of the lips.
When you discover the particulars are losing their power, you have
taken a first step toward a sainthood that only prostitutes can know.
Freed from the demands of your own needs, you will do a much
better job catering to the needs of others.
I know not how long I will remain a prostitute. I will never, however,
lose my vision of a city luminous with need, my pleasure in it's
endless variety, my sense of self transformed by needlessness. I
will always be a prostitute at heart.
I owe Baby Geoffrey alot.
-Gerald Hannon

"Only Fools Fall In Love"

Hearing AIDS, Band AIDS, RolAIDS, Walking AIDS
Medical AIDS, Government AIDS, and most of all
Monetary AIDS to their children!
I cannot see, I cannot pee
I cannot chew, I cannot screw
My memory shrinks, My hearing stinks
No sense of smell, I look like hell
My body's drooping, Got trouble pooping

"A little madness, a little kindness, makes for happiness."

"I passionately hate the idea of being "with it". I think an
artist is always out of step with his time. He has to be."
-Orson Welles

"There are times when I think that the reading I have
done in the past has had no effect except to cloud my
mind and make me indecisive."
-Robertson Davies

"When I got my first television set, I stopped caring
so much about having close relationships."
-Andy Warhol

120,000: Number of dogs and whores of whom Yasir Arafat
is the son of, according to Syria's defense minister.

Least competent criminals:
In may of 2000, four men, aided by an employee of the State Theater
in Menomonie, WI, stole a print of the "Star Wars" movie "The
Phantom Menace" (value: $60,000) in one of the worst-executed
crimes in state history. As the men lifted the 3-foot-wide spool from
the projector, it unraveled, leaving two miles of celluloid on the
floor. The men scooped the mess up, took it home, and tried to
wash the film in a bathtub to get rid of their fingerprints (hint:
doesn't work). Then, they cut it up for disposal but, after a while,
finally realized they needed to turn themselves in. Authorities
said alcohol was heavily involved in the caper. Each was
sentenced to 5 days in jail.


(from George Carlin)
*Where ideas are concerned, Americans can be counted
on to do one of two things: Take a good idea & run it
completely into the ground, or take a bad idea and run it
completely into the ground.
*The word "bipartisan" usually means some larger-than-usual
deception is being carried out.
*Nothing is so boring as listening to someone else describe
a dream.
*Traditional American values: Genocide, aggression, conformity,
emotional repression, hypocrisy, and the worship of comfort
and consumer goods.
*With all the natural selection going on,why doesn't the race get
any smarter? Is this it? Why are there so many stupid people?
Apparently, being a real dumb jackass has some survival
*I often think how different the world would be if Hitler had not been
turned down for art school.
*Most people work just hard enough not to get fired & get paid
enough just enough not to quit.
*You never see a smiling runner.
*If a painting can be forged well enough to fool experts, why
is the original so valuable?
*I was surprised when I started getting old. I always thought
it was one of those things that would happen to someone
*You rarely meet a wino with perfect pitch.
*One consolation about memory loss in old age is that you also
forget a lot of things you didn't intend to remember in the
first place.

   Johnno (a pseudonym) is 42 years old yet prides himself in having a childlike
approach to life and very much keeping life as simple as possible. He was born a
Gemini in the "year of the monkey".

   He has had an appreciation for the "classic" aesthetics.  A decent guy who has been
widely misunderstood and would love to wish you a kind regard and a life of health
and peace.

Brilliant & eccentric. Energetic yet mellow,  has an easy laugh but notably bizarre sense of
humor & may be found taking quiet walks in beautiful, quiet places or reading no
telling what in the most comfortable position humanly possible.

  There's no telling where he'll turn up. Originally hailing from the mid-west (where
he often stops in to take a breather) he's lived in various locations in the midwest,
south and southeast but keeps ending up back in the Ozarks
and continues to travel North America. His Dream is to one day reside in Australia.
He's planning trips there and to Europe, South America and Asia.
People often pause to compliment him on the nature of his work as a roadie.

Primary interests include photography, journalism/writing and videography.
And filmmaking.

Often wonders why that in music as in life that an idealist is
born into a banal world. Invested in new equipment that might permit to
reach in closer to musical idealism without the continued consequences of going
broke and caving in the mainstream idea idea of creative viability. His friend Randy
suggested that it is better selling out to make a buck than to strive, work, starve, strive,
work & starve for the benefit of satisfaction in ones own art. Assured him
that if this was indeed true that perhaps he himself might be found one day living
under a bridge and eating crackers but with a cheesy smile on his face. Still, lets hope
this doesn't happen!

   Hopes to find himself living somewhere one day soon where there's room to
grow; where you can say "hi" to somebody on the street without them
leering at you; where crime is low but spirits are high; where you can relax;  where a man
is judged by the quality of his character not the color of his green-backs; where you'll
likely talk to most people you come into contact with every day; where there's more
bicycles (or horses!) than cars; where humans are  humane; where
there's no "other side of the tracks;" where you won't have to obsess over otherwise
trivial situations or desires that have been relegated/elevated to the equivalent of an
unnatural unattainable & unrealistic goal-- usually by the same aforementioned
MegaInternationalCorporateDeathStarIndustryinc.; where people can get by with
one or less hours of television per day or none at all; where we live not for some
so-called "American Dream" but can live contented in the sanctity & humility of
everyday life-- working  and thriving within our own communities, knowing each
of our neighbors and remembering that to think globally & act locally is the secret to
success; where we don't need flashier cars, bigger houses, more exotic suits, creative
hairstyles, greater material wealth, cell phones, pagers, car phones, higher status,
everybody to be our friend, everybody to envy us or desire us or what I have or will
have, wierd/bizarre/un-natural inclinations/trappings, more, more, more, bigger, bigger,
biggest!, money....................when all we need are food, clothing, shelter, true love,
security, family & health... a hobby.. & just maybe a little inspiration & imagination;
where you get all the exercise you need in the course of the day by natural means of an
honest days work and where children are the light of the world.

Believe it or not this place still exists in many places although few and far between.
And so our humble narrator chooses a path of simplicity and
contentment and looks forward to the day when he needs not look past his front door
to find this dreams. He welcomes you along on the journey for our special place.

Until then be well, have peace!

 -Johnno 1998-2010

For more about me or more of DFPD please get this book
before it all comes crashing down.